Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancerIsaacson, Lauren Ann
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Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancer
Isaacson, Lauren Ann
Cancer -- Patients -- Biography; Isaacson, Lauren Ann, 1961-1986
I enjoyed the post-treatment arrangement, for I had always liked
spending time with my sister and, at a distance of 80 miles, few were
the occasions in which this was possible, especially since she had two
young children and a home of her own to maintain. Although the
circumstances under which I stayed with her were not the most
appealing, we still found time to shop on good days or amuse each other
through the situations that life itself readily provided. Several most
unforgettable hours were spent laughing hysterically in front of the
bathroom mirror. Since I had lost my hair, Sharon sewed two bonnets
from scratch, cutting circles of material and fitting elastic within
the perimeter, to warm my head when I slept or simply did not care to
wear my wig. Having no pattern from which to judge an appropriate
size, however, the bonnet was large enough to conceal my entire head;
trying it on evoked immediate wails of laughter from us both. Of
course, I could not let the matter rest and continued with further
antics, shoving it over my ears and acting like an old woman who
couldn't hear for the voluminosity of the hat, and then pulling it over
my entire head with the elastic about my neck and pronouncing that I
was a lollipop. Amid our slap-happy howls (for the hour was late), her
husband must have wondered if we had lost our minds; moreover, we were
trying our best to stifle our laughter so as not to disturb her
sleeping boys, which, in such a hopeless situation, only served to
escalate the humor reflected in the mirror. I was able to eat
ravenously for three to four days following my treatment; this meant,
of course, that I ate well until I had to return home, by which time my
body had restored itself to a reasonable degree and no longer tolerated
food to the extent it had initially. Mom soon developed a complex
about her cooking, which persisted until summer when I went directly
home after receiving treatments, instead of sojourning at Sharon's, and
ate my Mom's culinary offering passionately.
Upon my return to Moline I had to appear at the hospital for weekly
blood tests to assure that my white count was not "low." If the test
results were unfavorable, however, I had to have daily blood tests
until my count was determined as normal again. A low white cell count
paralleled a higher susceptibility to germs, as the immune system did
not possess its usual fortitude; although, physically, I never felt any
different when I had a low white count, emotionally it paralleled a
fleeting cantankerousness on my part since I was not overly thrilled at
the prospect of enduring more needles. I was fortunate that I never
contracted any serious maladies; perhaps if I had been plagued by
viruses I would not have viewed the routine blood tests with such
disdainful inappreciation. As it was, my only health problem was
cancer; all or nothing must have been my system's motto.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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