When an apparently mentally intact adult commits such a brutal violation of the societal code of conduct, it is difficult to rationalize his behavior as acceptable by way of insanity; certainly he exercised a choice, worsened by the fact that he was an adult. He did not use self-control; though he felt murderous, he did not have to act upon his impulse. If an individual was bound inextricably to a fore-fated disposition by (God) then his actions would prove nothing as to the man's character... that is, his inherent ability to choose right over wrong. If God undertook the creation of a perfectly "good man," in so much that he, the man, was incapable of doing evil, the man could not receive applause for his acts of good will because he essentially had no other choice. In conversations with my father, he often offered an inquiry for discussion as to which man is essentially the "better" of the following: a non-drinker who, without the slightest twinge of anxiety, refuses a drink, or the alcoholic who, fighting desperately, also refuses a drink as sweat forms upon his brow. My father could always come to the conclusion that the non-drinker was, in essence, the weaker of the two described since he felt no temptation in the first place and could not be congratulated for a decision which created no mental turmoil. The above analogy could be substituted in many arenas of human weakness. Though the degree of temptation toward wrong-doing varies among its subjects, I believe the most courage and fortitude of character is demonstrated by those who are able to rule their impulses and seek the road of a clear conscience. A battle won with oneself against injustice will always remain a noble endeavor; one's self can be either his best friend or in selfishness, his worst enemy. There are times in everyone's life when two or more choices present themselves for inspection; and it is not always easy to choose the ethical course of action, yet for those who are mentally aware of themselves and the people who share their world, there should ideally exist only one choice, the benevolent choice. It will never be possible for one human to completely judge another's character, and likewise carry out justice on earth. Even if the committers of crimes are punished, justice will not come to the victim who suffered the loss or trauma. The victim's pain can recede, but it cannot be washed away. My mother told me once that when she was a little girl, she thought God would strike down evil people, and they would one day fall over, dead and benign. It did not take long for her young eyes to see that life was not that way. However, one can, perhaps, derive a small amount of satisfaction from hope vested in "ultimate justice" and the idea that a being far greater than the greatest human is able to detect one's truthfulness and the depth of his knowledge of right and wrong. PAGE 183 Essay: Views on Awareness