It was in this state of mind that I left Rochester, Minnesota. Later that day I was welcomed by my brother, Norm, who then received the "news" with the added support of my parents. We were generally in good spirits, which evoked a rather frustrated, "I don't see what you're all so happy about!" assertion from him; that we should be pleased when no remedy was available was disconcerting. . . with time, however, he was able to understand the importance of quality in life. He also was one who did not do those things which would bring turmoil to his life. If one continually succumbs to the notions and desires of others, his own thoughts are rendered meaningless, and likewise, is his existence. PAGE 212 Essay: Suffering SUFFERING Cancer, or any debilitating injury or illness cannot be viewed as an act of God which is bestowed upon an unsuspecting public as randomly as winning tickets in a perverted lottery. I reject the thought that any supreme diety would choose certain individuals to suffer and allow others to live peaceful and fulfilled lives, or through their own choice, aimless, meaningless lives; I do not feel that a God would thus inflict an individual either to punish him for wrong-doing or through suffering, make him into a stronger human. Though it may be a consolation to believe that suffering has a purpose, I believe that an individual's pain has no more divine purpose than if he'd stubbed his toe. While the mastery and acceptance of ill fortune will make a person stronger, it would then seem that everyone could benefit from grief, and God would therefore assure each person of his parcel... but it doesn't happen that way. Grief is part of existence, and while certain people may have more than "their share" as far as statistical averages follow, nature does not operate through calculated averages. I believe cancer befalls individuals just as blight will infest a perfectly healthy tree and cut short its life expectancy. It is interesting to me that many individuals will always attempt to justify their illness in such manners in order to keep their faith intact; as far as they are concerned, a loving God must have a reason for doing such a thing to them. People have forgotten that illness is a part of life, and perhaps more prominent is the fact that many refuse to acknowledge their own mortality. Just as illness is an inherent factor in nature's infinitely complex cycle, death also belongs to the natural order of things.