"God will not give us any more than we can bear" is also a disagreeable reason (to my way of thinking) for explaining why suffering is God's gift to us. Far too often, the burden is too hard to bear and the person is unable to cope, leaving him bitter, enraged or even insane. This cannot be pigeonholed neatly as suffering which was to the benefit of the individual... or that which was "no more than he could bear." Moreover, why would a diety wish to dole out pain to some simply because they could "handle it" while allowing others to go their merry way through life because they would have "cracked" under the grief? The latter group may empathize with the former lot, yet they cannot "enlarge their spiritual horizons" through observation alone. Thus, while the former group grows in insight and reflection, the latter enjoys life's surface values and are bereft of the "enjoyment" which true suffering would bring. Who, then, is the better off? PAGE 213 Essay: Quality in Life QUALITY IN LIFE Another aspect concerning religion and death which never ceases to amaze me is the devout Christian who believes that one should strive for every possible breath 'til the end, as if life for life's sake is of foremost importance. To me, this is saying that heaven is not as great as proclaimed; if their faith, indeed, is so steadfast and secure, would not the proposition of the imminence of heaven produce more smiles than that of another painful breath of life? I feel that life must contain an element of quality to be worth the actual existence. To me this would mean wrapping myself in thought, and perhaps, subsequently unleashing my hoard of mind-words onto paper, where they would then remain for later perusal. My thoughts and sense of self are more precious than any physical activity I might pursue, or monetary affluence I might acquire. This fact may be the reason why I am content despite physical limitations and inconveniences and my deformity in stature. Though if it were my choice, I would most definitely elect to be of stout health, I feel that I am yet rich in the far greater facets of character; for it is one's mind which makes the person, not the body. When I see one who is healthy, I don't envy that person, nor do I feel I "deserve" health more than "so and so" who lives a wild life but remains healthy. In fact I would never trade my life for that of someone else. I would still want my mind, body and soul. While I may detest my body's waning functions, I would not care to live in another's body a life which had no meaning. Moreover, it is not possible to know the sorrow which he might have borne, or the gripping habits which have tortured his mind. If I've ever envied a person, it was only my former, healthier self.