Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancerIsaacson, Lauren Ann
Science
Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancer
Isaacson, Lauren Ann
Cancer -- Patients -- Biography; Isaacson, Lauren Ann, 1961-1986
The first class of the day was Early English Literature, which was
taught on the lower floor of "Old Main," a stately edifice which, to
me, seemed to possess the ability to gather and retain heat within its
confines. Each morning I would mount the cement steps which led to Old
Main, hoping that "this time" some windows would be open to allow cool
air to cleanse the room of its persistent stuffiness. Sometimes before
class, one window would be breathing fresh air into the room, exhaling
through the open doorway the stale air which otherwise choked the room.
Upon the teacher's arrival, however, the door would automatically
close to "keep noise to a minimum," and I cringed with dismay as the
circulating air stopped dead in its tracks.
As the instructor spoke of the early legends of the Norsemen and the
icy gales in which men battled, even my wistful images of the frozen
climate could not impede my body's growing internal heat. I would
begin to feel as if an oven had been opened in front of my face,
followed by an unrestrained flow of sweat. I fought to retain my sense
of humor and enjoy the class, but as my hair began to plaster itself
closely to my scalp from the heat, concentration gradually lessened
until I could think of nothing else but fleeing from the classroom to
the fresh air outside. At the end of the hour, I dashed through the
door to the nearest restroom in an attempt to restore, to a reasonable
degree, my appearance. On many days, I actually looked as if I'd just
been swimming and had not allowed my hair to dry.
Depending on the amount of time I had to spend between classes, I was
sometimes able to sit outside and let the breeze dry my hair and cool
my body. A shortage of time or inclement weather forced me to simply
walk to my following class, where the cooler room eventually afforded a
more comfortable situation for me, allowing me to slowly dry off.
Throughout the hours between my second and third classes, I would
purchase and eat lunch and then situate myself in the least obtrusive
spot I could find to study or write. On several occasions, I was able
to visit with an old friend, with whom I'd initially become acquainted
at church, and who, I might add, was virtually the only person I felt
comfortable addressing. When she appeared, time passed rapidly and
easily. She also dispelled some of my fears about the campus (among
these, the library) by ushering me through the quiet corridors of the
rather intimidating building.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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