Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancerIsaacson, Lauren Ann
Science
Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancer
Isaacson, Lauren Ann
Cancer -- Patients -- Biography; Isaacson, Lauren Ann, 1961-1986
I was not allowed to swallow food or liquid of any kind; even water was
forbidden. My throat became dry, despite its occasional rinsing, and
the tube which ran from my nose to my stomach only hindered the
situation. I decided to test my luck and ask for ice, reasoning that
the excessive coldness might aid my throat to a degree, even though I
could not actually swallow any of it. Since my saliva would become
frigid through the presence of the ice, perhaps the throat would
benefit from the slight trickling of cold moisture. To my amazement,
they agreed to give me a glass of ice chips at various intervals
through the day providing I would only chew the ice, and then spit it
into a metal bowl for that specific purpose; I shook my head "yes" in
vigorous excitement at the proposal. In time, I was even allowed to
swallow one or two teaspoonsful of ice each time. It was a small, but
significant favor, for which I was exceedingly grateful.
As I improved, I sought other forms of entertainment aside from
watching television, which included the use of my hands. In my
opinion, the hospital craft room was an ingenious installment. I had
always loved art, and in that room, one could purchase various kits
which were self-contained, having all the necessary tools and
materials, for a minimal price. It took no time at all before I had
selected two kits, and dispatched myself to my room to begin the
projects. I also enjoyed drawing, and having remembered my sketch book
from home, I made several drawings from the items in my room and the
objects I saw in magazines. When I was not involved with drawing,
however, I lusted at the food photographs and greedily read each
mouth-watering recipe. It must have seemed a curious endeavor, for my
parents would watch me in good-natured humor as I sat enthralled, a
mere twig propped between numerous pillows, lingering over pictures as
if I was haunted by food's memory.
Mom and Dad would eat lunch outside of the hospital, and often walked
about afterward to exercise their stiff limbs. Neither of them were
idle folk, and the long, exhaustive hours spent with me were difficult
for that reason, as well as many, more obvious ones. It was fortunate
that I happened to be hospitalized during August, for the weather was
fine and conducive to jaunts through a park or the city streets. A
shopping mall was located in the area, and they would often stop there
to buy a small gift, which they would present to me upon their return.
As the weeks progressed I had collected a menagerie of small clay
animals which I displayed on a nearby nightstand; it was affection made
visible. When my parents were gone, the treasures were a reminder of
their love throughout the night; staring vacantly out the window, I
knew that despite the impersonal glare of the city lights below, two of
the people out there cared for me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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