Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancerIsaacson, Lauren Ann
Science
Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancer
Isaacson, Lauren Ann
Cancer -- Patients -- Biography; Isaacson, Lauren Ann, 1961-1986
With the dawn I found that many things were considerably more difficult
to accomplish. After bathing, with Mom's assistance, I succeeded in
the insertion of my contacts, however, even though the process required
more time and effort than it had previously. Shortly thereafter Dr. W.
pranced into the room. "Hi!" I said cheerfully, eyeing him with
obvious mirth and unaccountably good spirits. He looked at me from
behind his clipboard. "I put 'em in!" He gazed at me with dumbfounded
astonishment and self-consciously adjusted his glasses. "I didn't think
you could possibly do it with IV's in both arms. . ." he said, his voice
shedding its tone of superiority and knowledge.
I grinned at him widely from my bed.
The following day, Dr. W. wore his contacts.
After Dr. W. had departed, blinking with stolid determination due to
his brave and noble undertaking, Dr. T. paid me a visit. Asking about
my condition, I could not refrain from lamenting my lack of mobility;
I no longer was able to draw or take up a craft, among other
difficulties. He easily perceived my frustration and proclaimed,
"Well then, this won't do!" and made plans for an alternate solution;
I beamed with joy to think that I would be able to resume my former
activities.
That afternoon, I was greeted by Dr. M. who had received instructions
to replace one of my IV's to a vein located slightly below my neck,
which would be a more permanent, as well as a more comfortable
position. He asked my parents to leave the room; I began to panic! If
the insertion of the IV was going to create a lot of pain, I wanted no
part of it. I was suddenly stricken with fear, as if all of the events
of the past weeks were thrust upon me at once. I could bear no more,
and tears welled up in my eyes in apprehension for the relatively
simple procedure; I had already withstood much worse, yet my emotional
limit had been reached.
I sat, set-eyed, while Dr. M. set to work. Trying to anticipate a stab
of pain, I watched him nervously as the minutes sailed by. "There," he
said, leaning away from me. "You're not done, are you?" I asked, quite
certain that the worst was yet to come, for I had felt no urge
whatsoever to flinch or grit my teeth; I had felt no sensation at all.
"I'm all finished," he said with a smile. "But it didn't hurt at all!"
I said incredulously, nearly wanting to hug him. "Like," I said,
"sometimes people feel pain, and other times they don't." I looked at
him in admiration.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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