The delicious resentment that some women at once rouse in others! By
deep specialized instinct every woman in the car looked up as the girl
went by. Sitting there for several hours they had tacitly constituted
themselves a microcosm of Society, and now with professional shrewdness
took stock of the alien. No sculptor, no practised sensualist, could
have itemized her more fiercely. She was not “pretty,” but in some
strangely dangerous way she was foreign to their comfortable cowardice.
She was still untamed, unbroken. It was not fair, thought the plumper
ladies (though unaware they were thinking it), that a woman of nubile
age should still combine nymphlike grace with the gay insouciance of a
boy. She was carrying her hat in her hand, and the dark twist of her
uncropped hair annoyed them as much as, not long before, it would have
annoyed them to see it short. They marked the flexile straightness
of her figure, the hang and stuff of the skirt, the bend of foot and
ankle; exactly appraised, by the small visible slope of stocking, the
upper curves unseen. They noted the unbroken fall of her dark suit
from armpit to hem as she was swung sideways by a swerve of the train
and threw up one elbow to keep her balance. The ruddy young brakeman,
meeting her just then, steadied her politely with his hand. She smiled
as frankly as a lad. She didn’t even seem humiliated, Ruth thought, at
having to pass through all these Pullmans on her way to the day coaches.
But there was something deeper than that--something she couldn’t
profitably discuss with Ben. With the clairvoyance of woman she saw,
and resented, a creature somehow more detached and more determined
than herself. In a vague way, for which no words were possible, she
recognized a spirit not more happy but more finely unhappy; a spirit
concerned with those impassioned curiosities of life which Ruth knew
existed and yet knew not how to approach. She felt the shamed envy and
anger that some bitter listener in the audience always feels toward
the performer. There was something in that dark childish face and
alert reckless figure that made Ruth feel soft and frilly and powdered
with sugar. The girl was possessed by some essence, had some fatal
current passing through her--something which, if generally admitted,
would demand extensive revision of the comfortable world. That was
it, perhaps: she looked as though she knew that things most women
had agreed to regard as important, didn’t really matter. The Pullman
microcosm resented this, as an anthology of prose would resent a poem
that got into it by mistake. The only satisfaction it could have, and
the explanation of its pitiless appraisal, was the knowledge that this
poor creature too was mocked and fettered with a body, subject also to
the dear horrors of flesh.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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