He had spread out his papers on the dining table, where he could write
without seeing Joyce’s door. But he couldn’t seem to resume the flow of
that slick treacly style, which the experienced brochurist can smoothly
decant, like a tilted molasses barrel. The discomforting irony of the
last word penetrated him. He changed “Italian richness” to “Italian
passion,” but that was as far as inspiration carried him. It was vain
to remind himself that Walter Scott had written novels all night long,
that Napoleon had planned campaigns in the agony of stomach-ache, that
Elbert Hubbard was never at a loss for a Little Journey. In a nervous
fidget he pared his nails, sharpened pencils, rearranged the glasses
on the sideboard, emptied Ben’s cigar débris from the living-room ash
tray. He trod stealthily, in stocking feet, for fear of disturbing
Joyce. Without his usual couch to sleep on, his usual table to work
at, he felt homeless. There was a dull pain at the bottom of his ribs.
He tried to remember whether he had unduly bolted his food at dinner.
Perhaps he was going to have appendicitis.
He had a sort of insane desire to justify his existence, to atone for
a day of such incredible futility by getting some work done. If every
possible extraneous trifle could be attended to perhaps his mind might
be calmed. He crept upstairs to clean his teeth and found that Phyllis
had put his dressing gown and pyjamas and slippers on the window seat.
Was that a softening overture, or a hint that she did not want him
in the bedroom? He tiptoed warily to the balcony to glance at the
children. Even in sleep Sylvia was still the coquette: she lay with
one hand curled against her cheek, the most ravishing pose, her face a
lovely fragile gravity. Janet was restless, muttering something about
bathing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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