"Ah'll mind if he kills you. You do like I tell you, and you can beat
him. Why, mah best act in the How-To Cahnival was How to Win a Duel.
Cou'se, they didn't know ah was really drawin' befoah the buzzah
sounded. Why, ah used to set two plates ten yahds apaht, draw two
revolvahs, and shoot both plates, all in foah-tenths of a second!"
Stonecypher grinned. "Sorry I missed that carnival first time it came
through here. I coulda seen you in that costume they poured on you,
three years earlier."
"Nevah mind the veiled compliments. Now, try it!"
Stonecypher faced the target, a sheet of plastiboard roughly sawed to
the shape of a man, and backed by a heap of earth removed from the new,
as yet dry, pond in which they stood. Catriona pressed a small buzzer
concealed in her palm. Stonecypher's big hand closed on the revolver
butt, pushing the weapon up and forward. The sound of the shot rattled
away over the mountain top.
"That's good!" Catriona cried, consulting the sonic timer. "One and
two-tenths seconds from buzzah to shot!"
"But I missed," Stonecypher protested. "Look bad on tevee."
"You'll hit him. Watch the recoil next time."
Stonecypher drew and fired a second wild shot. He snorted, "Confound
Westerns, anyhow!"
"Weste'ns?"
"Sure. That's where this duelin' started. Used to, almost ever' movie or
tevee was called a Western. Sort of a fantasy, because they were just
slightly based on real history. They generally showed a feller in a
flowered shirt, ridin' a Tennessee Walking Horse, and shootin' a gun.
Ever'body in these Westerns had a gun, and they all shot at each other.
"The youngin's were hep on 'em, so they all wore toy guns, and a whole
generation grew up on Westerns. When they got big, they carried real
guns. I've heard my great-uncle tell about it, how before the Government
built duel-pens and passed laws, you couldn't hardly cross the Lakes
without runnin' into a bunch of fools on water skis shootin' at each
other."
"You leave the histo'y books alone foah awhile," Catriona commanded,
"and practice. The tenants and ah'll tend to the wo'k. Try it loaded and
empty. Hook this little buzzah to the timeah, and practice. Ah've got to
go see the chickens."
"'Bye, teacher." Stonecypher dropped the buzzer in his pocket and
watched her vanish into the grove. He fired the remaining shots, nicking
the target once. With the revolver holstered, he followed the path to
the summer pasture.
* * * * *
Belly-deep in red clover, twenty-four cows, twenty-four calves, and
twenty-four yearlings grazed or played in the shady field. Stonecypher
cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, "Smart-calves!
Smart-calves to school!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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