England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
She could not argue as an educated person might have done. Egremont's
zeal in his various undertakings made no plea for his character, in her
mind. To be sure, a more subtle reasoner might have given it as little
weight, but that would have been the result of conscious wisdom. Lydia
could only argue from her predisposition regarding the class of
'gentlemen.' We know how she had shrunk from meeting Egremont. Guided
by Gilbert and Thyrza, she had taught herself to think well of him,
but, given the least grounds of suspicion, class-instinct was urgent to
condemn.
Only one way recommended itself to her, and that the way of love. She
must lead Thyrza to confide in her, must get at the secret by
constraint of tenderness. She might seem to suspect, but the grounds of
her suspicion must be hidden.
Having resolved this, she leaned nearer and spoke gentle words such as
might soothe. Thyrza made no response, save that she raised her lids
and looked wofully.
'Dear one, what is it you're keeping from me?' Lydia pleaded. 'Is it
kind, Thyrza, is it kind to me? It isn't enough to tell me you're
poorly; there's more than that. Do you think I can look at you and not
see that you have a secret from me?'
Thyrza had closed her eyes again, and was mute.
'Dear, how can you be afraid of _me_, your old Lyddy? When there's
anything you're glad of, you tell me; oughtn't I to know far more when
you're in trouble? Speak to me, dear sister! I'll put my head near
yours; whisper it to me! How _can_ I go on in this way? Every day I see
you getting worse. I'm miserable when I'm away at work; I haven't a
minute's peace. Be kind to me, and say what has happened.'
There was silence.
'Do you think there's anything in me but love for you, my dearest, my
Thyrza? Do you think I could say a cruel word, tell me whatever you
might? Do you think I shan't love you only the better, the more unhappy
you are? Perhaps I half know what it is, perhaps--'
Thyrza started and gazed with the same wildness as when she first came
in.
'You know? What do you know? Tell me at once, Lyddy!'
'I don't really know anything, love--it's only that I can't help
thinking--I've noticed things.'
Thyrza raised herself upon one arm. She was terror-stricken.
'What have you noticed? Tell me at once! You've no right to say things
of that kind! Can't I be poorly without you talking as if I'd done
something wrong? What have I done? Nothing, nothing! Leave me alone,
Lyddy! Go downstairs, and leave me to myself!'
'But you don't understand me,' pleaded the other. 'I don't think you've
done anything, but I know you're in trouble--how can I help knowing it?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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