TIMON. That’s a lascivious apprehension. APEMANTUS. So thou apprehend’st it, take it for thy labour. TIMON. How dost thou like this jewel, Apemantus? APEMANTUS. Not so well as plain-dealing, which will not cost a man a doit. TIMON. What dost thou think ’tis worth? APEMANTUS. Not worth my thinking. How now, poet? POET. How now, philosopher? APEMANTUS. Thou liest. POET. Art not one? APEMANTUS. Yes. POET. Then I lie not. APEMANTUS. Art not a poet? POET. Yes. APEMANTUS. Then thou liest. Look in thy last work, where thou hast feigned him a worthy fellow. POET. That’s not feigned, he is so. APEMANTUS. Yes, he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy labour. He that loves to be flattered is worthy o’ th’ flatterer. Heavens, that I were a lord! TIMON. What wouldst do then, Apemantus? APEMANTUS. E’en as Apemantus does now, hate a lord with my heart. TIMON. What, thyself? APEMANTUS. Ay. TIMON. Wherefore? APEMANTUS. That I had no angry wit to be a lord. Art not thou a merchant? MERCHANT. Ay, Apemantus. APEMANTUS. Traffic confound thee, if the gods will not. MERCHANT. If traffic do it, the gods do it. APEMANTUS. Traffic’s thy god, and thy god confound thee! Trumpet sounds. Enter a Messenger. TIMON. What trumpet’s that? MESSENGER. ’Tis Alcibiades, and some twenty horse, All of companionship. TIMON. Pray entertain them, give them guide to us. [_Exeunt some Attendants._] You must needs dine with me. Go not you hence Till I have thanked you; when dinner’s done, Show me this piece. I am joyful of your sights. Enter Alcibiades with his company. Most welcome, sir. [_They bow to each other._] APEMANTUS. [_Aside_.] So, so, there! Aches contract and starve your supple joints! That there should be small love amongst these sweet knaves, And all this courtesy! The strain of man’s bred out Into baboon and monkey. ALCIBIADES. Sir, you have saved my longing, and I feed Most hungerly on your sight. TIMON. Right welcome, sir! Ere we depart we’ll share a bounteous time In different pleasures. Pray you, let us in. [_Exeunt all but Apemantus._] Enter two Lords. FIRST LORD. What time o’ day is’t, Apemantus? APEMANTUS. Time to be honest. FIRST LORD. That time serves still. APEMANTUS. The more accursed thou, that still omitt’st it. SECOND LORD. Thou art going to Lord Timon’s feast? APEMANTUS. Ay, to see meat fill knaves and wine heat fools. SECOND LORD. Fare thee well, fare thee well. APEMANTUS. Thou art a fool to bid me farewell twice. SECOND LORD. Why, Apemantus? APEMANTUS. Shouldst have kept one to thyself, for I mean to give thee none. FIRST LORD. Hang thyself! APEMANTUS. No, I will do nothing at thy bidding. Make thy requests to thy friend. SECOND LORD. Away, unpeaceable dog, or I’ll spurn thee hence. APEMANTUS. I will fly, like a dog, the heels o’ th’ ass. [_Exit._] FIRST LORD. He’s opposite to humanity. Come, shall we in And taste Lord Timon’s bounty? He outgoes The very heart of kindness.