It was getting well into the small hours when I came down the stairs at
last, with Jervis Fanshawe at my heels. I could not trust myself then to
speak to him; I held him in such loathing that I was afraid of what I
might do. He spoke to me once as I walked away, but I paid no attention
to him. I walked on and on doggedly, wondering bitterly what I should
do, and realizing more every moment how helpless I was; seeing only that
I was beating feeble hands against a wall that I could not break down.
Suddenly he plucked me by the sleeve in a quiet street through which we
were passing; I turned suddenly, and faced him. As he shrank away from
me, my rage overmastered me, and I caught him by the throat and forced
him to his knees.
"Where are you driving me?" I demanded hoarsely. "Is not once enough, in
a lifetime such as yours, to strive to ruin a woman; is there no mercy
in your black heart at all?"
"You don't understand," he faltered.
"I understand only too well," I retorted savagely. "Was it for this you
met me when I came from prison; was it for this that you have drawn me
on and on, until I am as desperately involved in this business as
yourself? What of your lying promises--your pleadings that I would trust
you?"
"Indeed--indeed I only mean well--indeed I want to help her!" he
exclaimed, staggering to his feet, and trying to pull my hands away from
his collar. "I can't tell you; I can't explain."
"The dead woman you have seen--whose eyes have looked into yours--did
she teach you nothing?" I demanded.
He suddenly covered his face with his hands, and shuddered. "She taught
me something I shall not forget," he whispered. "Only I must go on and
on; I dare not look back. I have set my hand to something, and I will
not stop now!" He raised his haggard face to the sky, and if I had not
had that desperate hatred of him in my heart, I must have been moved by
the strange look upon it.
"No, you will not turn back, until you have brought this child to ruin
and disgrace," I said. "But it may be given to me to spoil your game
yet; this new move on the part of Olivant may lead to something he has
not reckoned upon--or you either."
"Yes, it may," he said; and he seemed to shudder again.
A clock near at hand in a church tower struck three over the sleeping
city. I told Fanshawe I would not go back with him then; I would walk
the streets until daylight. He tried to dissuade me from that, but
seeing that I had made up my mind he presently turned away, and set off
towards his lodging. I tramped the streets until dawn--staring now and
then into the faces of poor wanderers that flitted past me, in the vain
hope of seeing the girl; but there was no face like hers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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