I stood still for a moment, and looked about me over that sea of faces, all turned, without exception, in my direction. The little juryman was dabbing at his eyes, without any attempt at concealment; my guardian was watching me, with nervous fingers plucking at his lips. Then it all faded, like a dream that was ended, and I went swiftly down out of the world. CHAPTER VI I LEAVE THE WORLD Although in my uneasy slumbers I killed Gavin Hockley a hundred times at least--saw him lying at my feet, and realized clearly what I had done--I cannot say that such hauntings filled me with any horror in my waking moments. The thing had been done, and I had the savage certainty that it had been done well. Almost it seemed to me that I had gone before the woman I loved, and cleared the path for her--striking out of my way and hers the noxious thing that had menaced her. That was well done, and the path was clear; what else could matter? It would be idle to suggest that I did not think about my fate. So many days in which to live, and with each morning one the less; so many times to look upon the faces of those who guarded me; so many meals to be got through; that was all. Then would come that last dreadful morning when they would wake me; when I would get, perhaps, a glimpse of the sunshine for which I longed, and would hear the passing bell; then--"to hang by the neck until you are dead." In the time that was left me I travelled many, many miles. I seemed to see myself in a sort of perspective, narrowing down to the years that I could first remember, when I had been a child. I saw myself a happy boy at school; remembered the names of other happy boys, who would read of my fate, and shudder at what I had done; for I had been regarded as a gentle, amiable creature at school; I do not think I had ever even fought a boyish battle. They would talk about me--would say: "Why, I knew this chap at school!" and so would gain some temporary notoriety from the knowledge. I remembered again a happy year or two in an old-fashioned German town; thought with tears of loyal brave friendships formed then--friendships that were never to be broken this side the grave. How we had mapped out then all we were to do--this man a writer, and this other a painter, and this stronger one a soldier! And then I fell to wondering in what obscure place within the prison they would bury me--for my bones to be found afterwards--long, long afterwards; when perhaps they might recall how young I was, and how brutal my crime.