Ex-convicts -- Fiction; Love stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Social conditions -- Fiction; Self-sacrifice -- Fiction
It would be untruth to say that a sense of the good he was doing
sustained a passionate happiness in David through all these years.
Moments of exaltation were rare; they were the sun-blooming peaks in an
expanse of life that was otherwise low and gloom-hung. David had always
understood that prisons in their object were not only punitive--they
were reformative. But all his intelligence could not see any strong
influence that tended to rouse and strengthen the inmates' better part.
Occasional and perfunctory words from chaplains could not do it.
Monotonous work, to which they were lock-stepped, from which they were
lock-stepped, and which was directed and performed in the lock-step's
deadening spirit, this could not do it. Constant silence, while eating,
marching, working, could not do it. The removal for a week of a man's
light because he had spoken to a neighbour, this could not do it. Nor
could a day's or two days' confinement, on the charge of "shamming" when
too ill to work, in an utterly black dungeon on a bit of bread and a few
swallows of water.
Rather this routine, these rules, enforced unthinkingly, without
sympathy, had an opposite energy. David felt himself being made
unintelligent--being made hard, bitter, vindictive--felt himself being
dehumanised. One day as he sat at dinner with a couple of hundred mates,
silent, signalling for food with upraised fingers, a man and woman who
were being escorted about the prison by the warden, came into the room.
The woman studied for several minutes these first prisoners she had ever
seen--then the dumb rows heard her exclaim: "Why look,--they're human!"
To David the discovery was hardly less astonishing. He had been
forgetting the fact.
Yes, moments of exaltation were rare. More frequent were the dark times
when the callousness and stupidity of some of the regulations enraged
him, when the weight of all the walls seemed to lie upon his chest--when
he frantically felt he must have light and air, or die;--and he cursed
his own foolishness, and would have traded the truth to the people of
St. Christopher's for his freedom. Prometheus must often have repented
his gift of fire. But the momentum of David's resolve carried him
through these black stretches; and during his normal prison mood, which
was the restless gloom of all caged animals, his mind was in control and
held him to his bargain.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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