England -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
"Well, the thoughts, then," asked the man, his fingers moved caressingly
up and down her hand, "what were they?"
"I was thinking," began Joan slowly; her eyes fell from his and she
stirred restlessly. "What did you mean just now when you spoke about
drifting together?" she asked.
"Little Miss Pretence," he whispered, "as if you didn't know what I
meant. If I were well off," he said suddenly (perhaps for the moment he
really meant it), "I would make you marry me whether you had new ideas
about it or not."
"Being well off wouldn't have anything to do with it," Joan answered,
"it is more degrading to marry for money than anything else."
"Sometimes I believe you think that we are degrading altogether," the
man said; he watched the colour creep into her face, "God knows we are
not much to boast of, and that is the truth."
Joan struggled with the problem in her mind. "There ought not to be
anything degrading about love," she said finally, and this time it was
his eyes that fell away from hers.
For a little they sat silent, Joan, for some reason known only to
herself, fighting against a strong inclination to cry. Gilbert had taken
away his hands, he sat back in his chair, his feet thrust out, head
down, eyes glooming at the dust. Joan stole a glance at him and felt a
sudden intense admiration for the beauty of his clean-cut profile, his
sleek, well-groomed head. Instinctively she put out a timid hand and
touched him.
"Are you angry with me about something?" she asked.
It may have been that during that pause Gilbert had been forming a good
resolution with all that was best in him to keep from spoiling this
girl's life. Her eyes perhaps had touched on some slumbering chord of
conscience. Her movement though, the little whispered words, drove all
thoughts except the ones which centred round his desire from his mind.
"Joan," he said quickly, his hands caught at hers again, "let us stop
playing this game of make-believe. Let us face the future one way or
another. I love you, I want you. If you love me, come to me, dear, as
you say there can be nothing degrading in love. Let us live our lives
together in the new best way."
It was all clap-trap nonsense and he did not believe a word of it, but
the force of his passion was unmistakable. It frightened and held Joan.
"You mean----" she whispered.
"I mean that I want you to come and live at my place," he answered. "I
have a decent little flat, as you know. That is not living on my money,
O proud and haughty one"--he was so sure of his victory that he could
afford to laugh--"you shall buy your own food if you like. And you shall
be free, as free as you are now, and--I, Joan," his voice thrilled
through her, "I shall love you and love you and love you till you waken
to see the world in quite a new light. Joan!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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