Paris (France) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
The novel that the papers praised so warmly had enriched her by the sum
of ten pounds; and when she was five years older than she had been on
the day she said good-bye to him, she was writing in a boarding-house
much like the one where he had met her. She remembered wistfully that
within five years she had foreseen herself rejoicing in Upper Bohemia.
She wrote well. She did not think as well as she wrote, of course--her
horizon was clouded by myths, like those that have it that Scots are
all skinflints, and Jews are all rogues--but her work had beauty; and
critics saw it, and she made a reputation. But the general public
did not see it, or, seeing the beauty, were a Channel's width from
perceiving that it was beautiful, so she did not make money. And
without money she found a literary reputation was less ecstatic than
she had presumed. It did not mean congenial society, because she could
not afford to join the clubs where congenial society might be supposed
to exist. It did not mean concerts, or picture-galleries, or less
physical discomfort, or a breath of sea air when she was sick for it;
it did not mean a single amelioration of her life's asperities, because
Press notices were not to be tendered in lieu of cash. Even those who
lauded her fiction remained strangers to her. Only for a few weeks
after each book was issued, she read, in her boarding-house attic,
that she was a "distinguished novelist," and then she was again ignored.
And meanwhile her youth was fading, and her eyes were dimming, and she
looked in the glass and mourned. In the emptiness of her "distinction"
she longed for laughter and a home. Desperate at last, she did join a
club of professional women; but nominal as the fees were, considering
the splendour of the place, it was an annual effort for her to pay
the subscription. And she did not go there often enough to make any
intimate friends, because she was generally too tired.
And every year she grew more tired still.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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