Told After SupperJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Told After Supper
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Ghost stories, English; Short stories
He said he had not noticed it himself, but dared say I was right.
We remained silent for a few seconds, and then, wishing to put it
pleasantly, I said, "I believe I have the honour of addressing the
ghost of the gentleman who had the accident with the wait?"
He smiled, and said it was very good of me to remember it. One
wait was not much to boast of, but still, every little helped.
I was somewhat staggered at his answer. I had expected a groan of
remorse. The ghost appeared, on the contrary, to be rather
conceited over the business. I thought that, as he had taken my
reference to the wait so quietly, perhaps he would not be offended
if I questioned him about the organ-grinder. I felt curious about
that poor boy.
"Is it true," I asked, "that you had a hand in the death of that
Italian peasant lad who came to the town once with a barrel-organ
that played nothing but Scotch airs?"
He quite fired up. "Had a hand in it!" he exclaimed indignantly.
"Who has dared to pretend that he assisted me? I murdered the
youth myself. Nobody helped me. Alone I did it. Show me the man
who says I didn't."
I calmed him. I assured him that I had never, in my own mind,
doubted that he was the real and only assassin, and I went on and
asked him what he had done with the body of the cornet-player he
had killed.
He said, "To which one may you be alluding?"
"Oh, were there any more then?" I inquired.
He smiled, and gave a little cough. He said he did not like to
appear to be boasting, but that, counting trombones, there were
seven.
"Dear me!" I replied, "you must have had quite a busy time of it,
one way and another."
He said that perhaps he ought not to be the one to say so, but that
really, speaking of ordinary middle-society, he thought there were
few ghosts who could look back upon a life of more sustained
usefulness.
He puffed away in silence for a few seconds, while I sat watching
him. I had never seen a ghost smoking a pipe before, that I could
remember, and it interested me.
I asked him what tobacco he used, and he replied, "The ghost of cut
cavendish, as a rule."
He explained that the ghost of all the tobacco that a man smoked in
life belonged to him when he became dead. He said he himself had
smoked a good deal of cut cavendish when he was alive, so that he
was well supplied with the ghost of it now.
I observed that it was a useful thing to know that, and I made up
my mind to smoke as much tobacco as ever I could before I died.
I thought I might as well start at once, so I said I would join him
in a pipe, and he said, "Do, old man"; and I reached over and got
out the necessary paraphernalia from my coat pocket and lit up.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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