Told After SupperJerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
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Told After Supper
Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka)
Ghost stories, English; Short stories
"It's all right," he murmured; "I was afraid it was the cock."
"Oh, it's too early for that," I said. "Why, it's only the middle
of the night."
"Oh, that doesn't make any difference to those cursed chickens," he
replied bitterly. "They would just as soon crow in the middle of
the night as at any other time--sooner, if they thought it would
spoil a chap's evening out. I believe they do it on purpose."
He said a friend of his, the ghost of a man who had killed a water-
rate collector, used to haunt a house in Long Acre, where they kept
fowls in the cellar, and every time a policeman went by and flashed
his bull's-eye down the grating, the old cock there would fancy it
was the sun, and start crowing like mad; when, of course, the poor
ghost had to dissolve, and it would, in consequence, get back home
sometimes as early as one o'clock in the morning, swearing
fearfully because it had only been out for an hour.
I agreed that it seemed very unfair.
"Oh, it's an absurd arrangement altogether," he continued, quite
angrily. "I can't imagine what our old man could have been
thinking of when he made it. As I have said to him, over and over
again, 'Have a fixed time, and let everybody stick to it--say four
o'clock in summer, and six in winter. Then one would know what one
was about.'"
"How do you manage when there isn't any cock handy?" I inquired.
He was on the point of replying, when again he started and
listened. This time I distinctly heard Mr. Bowles's cock, next
door, crow twice.
"There you are," he said, rising and reaching for his hat; "that's
the sort of thing we have to put up with. What IS the time?"
I looked at my watch, and found it was half-past three.
"I thought as much," he muttered. "I'll wring that blessed bird's
neck if I get hold of it." And he prepared to go.
"If you can wait half a minute," I said, getting out of bed, "I'll
go a bit of the way with you."
"It's very good of you," he rejoined, pausing, "but it seems unkind
to drag you out."
"Not at all," I replied; "I shall like a walk." And I partially
dressed myself, and took my umbrella; and he put his arm through
mine, and we went out together.
Just by the gate we met Jones, one of the local constables.
"Good-night, Jones," I said (I always feel affable at Christmas-
time).
"Good-night, sir," answered the man a little gruffly, I thought.
"May I ask what you're a-doing of?"
"Oh, it's all right," I responded, with a wave of my umbrella; "I'm
just seeing my friend part of the way home."
He said, "What friend?"
"Oh, ah, of course," I laughed; "I forgot. He's invisible to you.
He is the ghost of the gentleman that killed the wait. I'm just
going to the corner with him."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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