The chamber was an octagon, with five windows in as many of the faces,
a fireplace and two doors occupying the other three. One of the
doors--that by which I entered,--opened from the stairs; the other
led into a granary, or something of that nature,--at least, so I
conjectured, from a heap of sacks which littered the floor, and filled
one corner completely. As I could not discover any corn, I resolved on
sharing my loaf with my horse,--a meal every campaigning steed is well
accustomed to make. And now, returning to my little chamber, I resumed
my supper with all the satisfaction of one who felt he had made his
rounds of duty, and might enjoy repose.
As I knew the Château de Holitsch, where the Emperor Francis held his
quarters, was some six leagues distant, I guessed that General Savary
was not likely to return from his mission before morning at very
soonest; and so it behooved me to make my arrangements for passing the
night where I was. Having, then, looked to my horse, for whose bedding I
made free with some dozen of the corn-sacks in the granary, I brought up
to my own quarters a supply of wood; and having fastened the door, and
secured the windows as well as I was able, I lit my meerschaum, and lay
down before the fire in as happy a frame of mind as need be.
Indeed, I began to fancy that fortune had done tormenting, and was now
about to treat me more kindly. The notice of the Emperor had relieved my
heart of a load which never ceased to press on it, and I could not help
feeling that a fairer prospect was opening before me. It is true, time
and misfortune had both blunted the ardor of enthusiasm with which I
started in life; the daring aspirations after liberty, the high-souled
desire for personal distinction, had subsided into calmer hopes and less
ambitious yearnings. Young as I yet was, I experienced in myself that
change of sentiment and feeling which comes upon other men later on in
life; and I was gradually reconciling myself to that sense of duty
which teaches a man well to play his part, in whatever station he may
be called to act, rather than indulge in those overweening wishes for
pre-eminence, which in their accomplishment are so often disappointing,
and in their failure a source of regret and unhappiness. These feelings
were impressed on me more by the force of events than by any process of
my own reasoning. The career in which I first started as a boy had led
to nothing but misfortune. The affection I conceived for one,--the only
one I ever loved,--was destined equally to end unhappily. The passion
for liberty, in which all my first aspirations were centred, had met the
rude shocks which my own convictions suggested; and now I perceived
that I must begin life anew, endeavoring to forget the influences whose
shadows darkened my early days, and carve out my destiny in a very
different path from what I once intended.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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