"I made a bad beginning, and, from the warder's point of view, I went
from bad to worse. I do not know if the man I had injured has been
suffered to torture me before my time, or if, where he is, his nature
has changed, and he seeks, in the grave, the vengeance he never sought
in life. If so, he has his fill of it--he surely has had his fill of
it!--already. It was through him that I was there, and now that I was
there he made my sojourn in the prison worse than it need have been.
Much worse, God knows.
"That first visitation of his was followed by others. Twice, thrice,
sometimes four times a day, he would come to me when I was in my cell,
and speak to me, and compel me to answer him; and my voice would be
heard without. It became quite a custom for the warder on duty to
stand outside my cell, often in the middle of the night, and pounce on
me as soon as Tom had gone. The instant Tom went, the warder would
come in. Never once did an officer enter while he was actually with
me, but, almost invariably, his departure was the signal for the
warder to put in his appearance. I don't know how it was, or why it
was, but so it was. I would be accused of carrying on a conversation
with myself, reported, and punished. As a matter of fact, I was in
continual hot water--because of Tom. Not a single week passed from
that in which I entered the prison, to that in which I left it, during
which I did not undergo punishment of some sort or the other, because
of Tom. As a result, all my marks were bad marks. When I left the
gaol, so far from receiving the miserable pittance which good-conduct
prisoners are supposed to earn, I was penniless; I had not even the
wherewithal with which to buy myself a crust of bread.
"A more dreadful form of torture Tom could hardly have invented. A man
need not necessarily suffer although he is in gaol. But I suffered.
Always I was in the bad books of the officers. They regarded me as an
incorrigible bad-conduct man--which, from their point of view, I was.
All sorts of ignominy was heaped on me. Every form of punishment I
could be made to undergo I had to undergo. I never earned my stripe,
nor the right of having a coir mattress with which to cover the bare
board on which I was supposed to sleep. I was nearly starved, owing to
the perpetually recurring bread and water. And the horrors I endured,
the devils which beset me, in that unspeakable dark cell! To me, gaol
was a long-drawn-out and ever-increasing agony, from the first moment
to the last.
"God knows it was!"
The speaker paused. He stood, his fists clenched, staring vacantly in
front of him, as if he saw there, in a mist, the crowding spectres of
the past. There seemed to come a break in his voice as he continued.
He spoke with greater hesitation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account