"My father, Tom, was a very strict, stern man" ("I'm not surprised to
hear that," thought his listener) "and with an overweening sense of
family pride. He was very proud that he was a Tinker, and, indeed, Tom,
we are as old a family as there is in the valley. Never forget that. And
we have an unsullied name. My father had another failing, if failing it
be called. He was inordinately fond of money. He expected, he took it
for granted, that both Dick and myself would marry not for money, of
course, but where money was.
"But both his sons disregarded their father's wishes. I, secretly, while
he yet lived; Richard, as you know, after his death. It was my fate, at
the house of a customer in Liverpool, to meet sweet Annie Lisle, the
family governess. She was an orphan, alone and unfriended, in the world.
What else she was, how sweet, how winsome, how patient, how true and how
trustful I cannot bear to think of, still less speak. I won her love. I
dared not speak of my passionate devotion at home. My father with the
burden of age had become each year more exacting, less tolerant of
opposition to his will. I feared to anger him. It was in his power to
disinherit me by his will. I was absolutely dependent on him. The
homestead was his, the mill, the business, were his. I was not man
enough to face poverty, expulsion from my home, loss of social
status--not even for my loved one's sake. Call me a poltroon, Tom, a
coward, a cur, if you like. I have used bitterer words than those to
myself. I knew it would be hopeless to ask my father's consent. He would
have had one word--'Go!' Then I began, with a satisfaction I strove
in vain to banish, to observe, nay, to gauge, the sign of my father's
failing health. I persuaded myself he was not long for this world, and
in my heart of hearts I was glad. But my passion ill brooked delay. I
urged Annie to a secret wedding. Reluctantly she consented. She procured
a week's holiday from her employer, and we were married by special
license at the parish church of Seaford, on the south coast, a small
fishing hamlet little frequented by the tourist or holiday-maker. It was
a week of Paradise. Then my wife returned to her employment, I was to
find a favourable opportunity of breaking the news to my father.
Meantime anything might happen. I conjured my wife to keep our secret. I
kept the certificate of our marriage, so afraid was I lest it should
fall into another's hand. My wife was not even to write to me lest my
father's suspicions should be aroused. I continued to call on my
Liverpool customer as usual, and when he asked me as usual to dine or
sup at his house, I treated my own wife with the distant courtesy one
shows to a governess. One day, early in the winter of 1830, I called at
the house of Mr.----, I was determined to take my wife away. My father
had softened much during the past few months. He had agreed to pay me a
fixed salary, instead of doling out a pound or two for pocket money. I
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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