Adventure stories; Americans -- Foreign countries -- Fiction; Balloon ascensions -- Fiction; Sawyer, Tom (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
“Course dey don’t; en so it stan’ to reason dat you’s mistaken, Mars
Tom. Dey wouldn’t put de tax on po’ truck like san’, dat everybody
ain’t ’bleeged to have, en leave it off’n de bes’ thing dey is, which
nobody can’t git along widout.”
Tom Sawyer was stumped; he see Jim had got him where he couldn’t budge.
He tried to wiggle out by saying they had _forgot_ to put on that tax,
but they’d be sure to remember about it, next session of Congress, and
then they’d put it on, but that was a poor lame come-off, and he knowed
it. He said there warn’t nothing foreign that warn’t taxed but just
that one, and so they couldn’t be consistent without taxing it, and to
be consistent was the first law of politics. So he stuck to it that
they’d left it out unintentional and would be certain to do their best
to fix it before they got caught and laughed at.
But I didn’t feel no more interest in such things, as long as we
couldn’t git our sand through, and it made me low-spirited, and Jim the
same. Tom he tried to cheer us up by saying he would think up another
speculation for us that would be just as good as this one and better,
but it didn’t do no good, we didn’t believe there was any as big as
this. It was mighty hard; such a little while ago we was so rich, and
could ’a’ bought a country and started a kingdom and been celebrated
and happy, and now we was so poor and ornery again, and had our sand
left on our hands. The sand was looking so lovely before, just like
gold and di’monds, and the feel of it was so soft and so silky and
nice, but now I couldn’t bear the sight of it, it made me sick to look
at it, and I knowed I wouldn’t ever feel comfortable again till we got
shut of it, and I didn’t have it there no more to remind us of what we
had been and what we had got degraded down to. The others was feeling
the same way about it that I was. I knowed it, because they cheered up
so, the minute I says le’s throw this truck overboard.
Well, it was going to be work, you know, and pretty solid work, too; so
Tom he divided it up according to fairness and strength. He said me and
him would clear out a fifth apiece of the sand, and Jim three-fifths.
Jim he didn’t quite like that arrangement. He says:
“Course I’s de stronges’, en I’s willin’ to do a share accordin’, but
by jings you’s kinder pilin’ it onto ole Jim, Mars Tom, hain’t you?”
“Well, I didn’t think so, Jim, but you try your hand at fixing it, and
let’s see.”
So Jim reckoned it wouldn’t be no more than fair if me and Tom done a
_tenth_ apiece. Tom he turned his back to git room and be private, and
then he smole a smile that spread around and covered the whole Sahara
to the westward, back to the Atlantic edge of it where we come from.
Then he turned around again and said it was a good enough arrangement,
and we was satisfied if Jim was. Jim said he was.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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