This is the same institution which conferred an Honorary Degree upon Tom Paine. So there you are. To the extent that the University of Pennsylvania can equalize the eminence of Teddy and Tom, equality has been established. So far as the University of Pennsylvania can link the two names together, they are linked. Whether he likes it or not, Teddy must promenade down the corridors of time and fame arm in arm with the “filthy little atheist.” Here is a case where that one of the Grecian philosophers who laughed at everything would weep: and where that one who wept at everything would laugh. * * * * * Tom Paine being dead cannot resent the honors paid Roosevelt by any act of renunciation aimed at the University of Pennsylvania; but Teddy lives and can defend his virtue from contaminating contact. Will he tamely submit to wear the Academic honor tainted by the touch of Tom Paine, or will he spurn it with that disdain which condensed the career of a much-enduring, much-achieving patriot and democrat in the cruelly scornful words, “a dirty little atheist”? * * * * * Whenever, in the hour of gloom and doubt, we call upon the presidents of our world-famous colleges for guidance we get it. Which is one of the reasons why we are still in the dark. A couple of years since, the chief sage of one of these world-famous institutions told us that Social Ostracism was the medicine for the Trust evil which would prove a cure-all. The chief sage neglected to inform us how and when we should or could dose the wicked corporations with this medicine: hence we have not as yet socially ostracized J. P. Morgan, Ogden Armour or John D. Rockefeller. * * * * * Woodrow Wilson, chief sage of Princeton University, is the latest of the academic guides who offers to pilot us out of the gloom. “Trusts,” remarks Woodrow (who, just between you and me, is something of a prig), “Trusts can never be abolished.” “_We must moralize them._” “The thing that keeps water in stocks is secrecy.” “_Publicity is the remedy._” When we hear the chief sage of Princeton droning and driveling this sort of nonsense we wonder whether his mind is fixed upon the actual men, methods and standards of today, or whether he gropes in some Arcadia of the past. “_Moralize the Trusts?_” How will you do it, impractical prig? Mr. Rockefeller is moral, isn’t he? Goes to church every Sunday, endows Baptist colleges, sends young John to teach Sabbath school and attend English revivals, prates of morality and the Bible to equal any Pecksniff that ever stole the livery of the Lord to shear the sheep in. Yet where was there ever a more ruthless criminal on the face of the earth than Rockefeller’s Oil Trust? “The thing that keeps water in stocks is secrecy.” No, it isn’t, impractical prig. It’s water that keeps the water in the stocks. Secrecy has nothing to do with it.