And again he smiled. Reassured, Uniacke made his way into the Rectory.
He sat down at his writing-table, took up his pen and wrote a few words
of a letter. But his mind wandered. The pen dropped on the table and he
fell into thought. It was strangely still weather, and there was a
strange stillness in his heart and conscience, a calm that was sweet to
him. He felt the relief of coming to an end after a journey that had not
been without dangers. For, during his intercourse with Sir Graham, he
had often walked upon the edge of tragedy. Now he no longer looked down
from that precipice. He leaned his arm on the table, among the litter of
papers connected with parish affairs, and rested his head in his hand.
Almost unconsciously, at that moment he began to rejoice at his own
boldness in deviating from the strict path of uncompromising rectitude.
For he thought of it as boldness, and of his former unyielding adherence
to the principles he believed to be right, as timidity. After all, he
said to himself, it is easy to be too rigid, too strict. In all human
dealings we must consider not only ourselves, but also the individuals
with whom we have to do. Have we the right to injure them by our
determination to take care of the welfare of our own souls? It seemed to
him just then as if virtue was often merely selfishness and implied a
lack of sympathy with others. He might have refused to lie and destroyed
his friend. Would not that have been selfishness? Would not that have
been sheer cowardice? He told himself that it would.
Calm flowed upon him. He was lost in the day-dream of the complacent man
whose load of care has fallen away into the abyss from which he has
fortunately escaped. The silence of the Island was intense to-day. His
conscience slept with the winds. And the sea slept too with all its
sorrow. He sat there like a carven figure with his face in his hand.
And, by degrees, he ceased to feel, to think actively. Conscious, not
asleep, with open eyes he remained in a placid attitude, lulled in the
arms of a quiet happiness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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