England -- Fiction; Patent medicines -- Marketing -- Fiction; Pharmaceutical industry -- Fiction; Satire; Science fiction
She had evidently been the wit and joy of a large circle of
schoolfellows, and this style had become a second nature with her. It
made her very delightful to me in that quiet place. Her customary walk
even had a sort of hello! in it. Her chief preoccupation in life was, I
believe, to make my uncle laugh, and when by some new nickname, some
new quaintness or absurdity, she achieved that end, she was, behind a
mask of sober amazement, the happiest woman on earth. My uncle’s laugh
when it did come, I must admit was, as Baedeker says, “rewarding.” It
began with gusty blowings and snortings, and opened into a clear “Ha
ha!” but in fullest development it included, in those youthful days,
falling about anyhow and doubling up tightly, and whackings of the
stomach, and tears and cries of anguish. I never in my life heard my
uncle laugh to his maximum except at her; he was commonly too much in
earnest for that, and he didn’t laugh much at all, to my knowledge,
after those early years. Also she threw things at him to an enormous
extent in her resolve to keep things lively in spite of Wimblehurst;
sponges out of stock she threw, cushions, balls of paper, clean
washing, bread; and once up the yard when they thought that I and the
errand boy and the diminutive maid of all work were safely out of the
way, she smashed a boxful of eight-ounce bottles I had left to drain,
assaulting my uncle with a new soft broom. Sometimes she would shy
things at me—but not often. There seemed always laughter round and
about her—all three of us would share hysterics at times—and on one
occasion the two of them came home from church shockingly ashamed of
themselves, because of a storm of mirth during the sermon. The vicar,
it seems, had tried to blow his nose with a black glove as well as the
customary pocket-handkerchief. And afterwards she had picked up her own
glove by the finger, and looking innocently but intently sideways, had
suddenly by this simple expedient exploded my uncle altogether. We had
it all over again at dinner.
“But it shows you,” cried my uncle, suddenly becoming grave, “what
Wimblehurst is, to have us all laughing at a little thing like that! We
weren’t the only ones that giggled. Not by any means! And, Lord! it
_was_ funny!”
Socially, my uncle and aunt were almost completely isolated. In places
like Wimblehurst the tradesmen’s lives always are isolated socially,
all of them, unless they have a sister or a bosom friend among the
other wives, but the husbands met in various bar-parlours or in the
billiard-room of the Eastry Arms. But my uncle, for the most part,
spent his evenings at home. When first he arrived in Wimblehurst I
think he had spread his effect of abounding ideas and enterprise rather
too aggressively; and Wimblehurst, after a temporary subjugation, had
rebelled and done its best to make a butt of him. His appearance in a
public-house led to a pause in any conversation that was going on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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