"You too, Aline!" Eva cried, reproachfully. "Can you consider wealth a
blessing? I know perfectly well that others envy me, but if they
dreamed what misery this wretched money has brought me, how it daily
embitters every enjoyment of life, filling my mind with distrust and
suspicion, making me despise those about me, they would give me pity
instead of envy. Wherever I go I am received with delight and loaded
with courtesies. I? No, my millions! I represent to these sordid souls
their idol,--wealth. I am nothing to them but the heiress, and as such
beautiful, lovely, talented, fêted and caressed wherever I go. Have I
not known this from my earliest childhood? Gray-headed servants cringed
and yielded to every wish of the spoiled wayward child, finding all
that she did charming and attractive because she was an heiress. Can I
be happy in kindness shown not to me but to my money? As soon as I
appear in society all the men vie with each other in doing me homage.
One flatters me, another exerts all his wit to entertain me, a third
sighs and languishes at my feet,--and it is all a lie, all wretched
hypocrisy! These very men who flatter and woo me would never accord me
a moment's notice if I were poor. Oh it is hard to be obliged to repeat
over and over to one's self, 'You yourself are nothing; these wretches
adore your millions, not you!' What do they care although I treat them
with the greatest arrogance and contempt? I am rich, and all I say and
do is charming, and would be although I united in my one character
every possible vice. I despise them and show them that I do so, and
they adore me! They sue for my hand and not one thinks whether I can be
a faithful, loving wife. I bring the man whom I marry millions, and who
cares whether a heart accompanies them? The more persistently they pay
court to me the more I am humiliated in my own eyes, the more
thoroughly I hate these miserable, sordid men! Yes, I hate them so
thoroughly that even that vain aristocrat, Count Waldheim, and that
_blasé_ fop, Paul Delmar, seem delightful to me, only because I know
that they never think of marrying me; they at least are not to be
bought with my money. Waldheim's pride of birth protects him from such
degradation, and Delmar is richer than I; he wants none of my fortune."
"Poor child!" Aline said, sadly.
"Yes, you are right now!" Eva continued, with emotion. "I am poor,
terribly poor; in the midst of my wealth I am destitute of everything
that constitutes happiness. It is a sad fate, indeed, never to be loved
for one's self alone!"
"Never, Eva?" Aline asked, reproachfully. "Do you mistrust me?"
"No, never!" the girl cried. "You and dear old Uncle Balthasar are the
only people in the whole world whom I really love and trust with my
whole heart,--you two, and perhaps Aunt Minni, who, I think, gives me
as much affection as she can spare from her lap-dog Azor. If it were
not for you I should be desperate indeed in this cold heartless sordid
world!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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