"You can never dream of the suffering I brought upon myself by refusing, as I did, to comply with a custom so long upheld by aristocratic authority. All the wretchedness of my life has been the consequence of the events of that night which drove me forth from my parents,--from you and from my country. My punishment has been bitter! "At first I became tutor in the family of a Hungarian magnate; then I entered that of a wealthy banker. In this dependent position I was subjected to humiliations of every kind. My blood boils now at the remembrance of how I was forced to yield to the whims of others: to humour dulness on the one side and intellectual superficiality on the other. It was a terrible ordeal! After some years, I became acquainted with a young and beautiful woman, the wealthy widow of a manufacturer, who had left her all his property. Her beauty attracted me, her wealth allured me! I was fearfully punished. She made my life a hell on earth. "I Was foolish enough at the time of our marriage to allow myself to be persuaded to sign a paper giving to her the entire right of disposal of her property, and of bequeathing it as she chose in case of her death. I had sold myself, and did not even receive the proceeds of the sale! I actually believed that love would bend my wife's wishes to my will, and went so far, in my devotion to my bride, as to change my faith for her sake,--I became a Catholic! "My punishment was sure and speedy. My wife reduced me almost to despair. While she scarcely allowed me sufficient means for the bare necessities of existence, she indulged in the wildest extravagance. I had to resign my beloved studies to accompany her to balls and masquerades, to concerts and the theatre. If I did not go with her she found some other escort. It was a horrible time! I was pursued by continual dread lest my wife might dishonour me. And I had to endure it all, for if I had attempted a separation I should have been a beggar. Death came at last to relieve me from my wretched thraldom. She died a few months after giving birth to a son, and on her death-bed she testified her hatred of me. She made a will which gave every penny which she possessed to her son; to me she left nothing. As during her life I lived but by her bounty, I was, after her death, to be dependent upon that of her son. I say hers, for I never believed him to be mine! She died with a smile of satisfied hatred upon her lips. She thought me crushed forever; but she had forgotten to appoint a guardian for her child, and this was my salvation. In the eye of the law I was his father, and as such his natural guardian. Moreover, when after a short time he died, I was his heir. "I will say no more, dear Hans, of that horrible time. I was a prey to the stings of conscience. The thought that I had sold myself for gold never left me. I was doubly dishonoured!