"Of course you see, Hopkins," said the spirit, pausing in his story for
a moment, "what a dreadful position that left me in. I was absolutely in
the dark as to what had been done in the case. I did not know what line
of argument had been pursued--I was even unacquainted with the name of
the presiding justice at the trial, and as for the testimony elicited
during the three weeks of my own personal desuetude, I had not read one
word of it. To attempt to sum up the case under the circumstances meant
ruin--it meant the final sacrifice of all my hopes; disgrace was
imminent.
"'I cannot sum up the case,' I answered in a moment. 'I have not
mastered the details, nor is there time for me to do so before the court
opens.'
"'I am aware of that fact,' retorted the other. 'But that is nothing to
me. I am not at all interested in upholding the undeserved fame of an
ingrate. It's nothing to me if disgrace stares you in the face. My name
is safe; graven upon a white marble stone in a country cemetery, it is
beyond the reach of dishonour, and is endorsed in deep-cut letters with
an epitaph extolling the virtues of him who bore it. This is your affair
entirely; I wash my hands of it. Come, prepare for your return.'
"Now I submit to you, Hopkins, that, considering the situation, I was
justified in changing my tone toward him. Put yourself in my place for a
moment," said the spirit.
"I'd rather not," returned Hopkins with a shudder.
"Oh, I don't mean for you to exchange places with me. I just want you to
try to imagine what you would have done under the circumstances. You
would have besought him even as I did to crown his work with final
success, and not leave matters in so unsatisfactory a condition; to
spare you the dishonour of a public failure, wouldn't you?"
"Yes, either that or suicide would have been my course," returned
Hopkins. "I think I'd have fled to some apothecary's and concealed
myself in a chloroform bottle until my consciousness evaporated if I'd
been you. You must have known that this thing could not keep up for
ever, unless you would consent to remain disembodied all your days."
"That was just the most horrible thing about it," said the spirit. "When
I realized what it all meant, I was nearly distracted; but believing
suicide to be a crime, and knowing, as I have already told you, that the
mind is indestructible, I could not do as you suggested. I might have
lulled myself into a state of perpetual unconsciousness, but I did not
care to do that, for the reason that, despite the harrowing features of
my situation, I was morbidly interested to see how it would all come
out. At any rate, I succumbed to my fears, and begged him not to think
of departing from my mortal habitation and leaving me in the lurch.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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