Maybe it was thinkin' about what a dead slow time he was havin' that
gives me the cue to stir up that lovely mess, or perhaps it was because
the thing was sprung on me so unexpected. It come one day when I was
busy drawin' pictures of Piddie on the blotter. I hears a giggle, and
squints up to see a pair that looked as if they'd just broke away from
an afternoon tea. He was a husky youth in a frock coat, with a face like
a full moon and a voice that didn't call for any megaphone. The other
was a her, and she was a bundle of tuttifrutti, the kind you see
floatin' by in sixty horsepowers, all veils and furs and eyes.
"Hello, sonny," says he, swingin' up to the brass gate, wearin' a
four-inch grin. "Where's the Great Skid?"
"Give it up," says I. "Have you tried the Zoo?"
"He-haw!" says he, with the stops all out and a forced draft on. "That's
a good one, that is! But we haven't much time and we're looking for
Skid. Where do you keep him?"
"Say," says I, "we've got a lot of freaks on tap; but we're just out of
Skids. Anything else do?"
Then she comes to the front. "Don't be such a silly, Dicky!" says she.
"It isn't likely they call him that here. Tell the young man it's Bert
Mallory we wish to see."
"You're right, Sis, right as usual," says Dick. "It's Mallory we're
looking for."
"Oh!" says I. "Mister Mallory?"
"There now, Dicky!" says she, pokin' him with her elbow and touchin' off
another giggle. "Didn't I tell you?"
"He-haw!" says Dicky. "Mister Mallory, of course."
But I didn't feel he-hawy a bit; for it was up to me to tow Mallory's
swell college chum and his sister in where the boy was jugglin' the file
cases. And them lookin' for him to be sittin' in a swing chair with his
name painted big on the door! That was when I dug up my fool thought.
"Cards!" says I. "I'll see if Mr. Mallory's got through consultin' with
the general manager."
"Oh!" gurgles Sis. "Doesn't that sound business like, though? I suppose
Skid--er--Mr. Mallory is quite a busy man, isn't he?"
"Busy," says I. "Say, you don't think he has all of us around here to
play marbles, do you, miss?"
Sis, she gets mighty int'rested at that. "He's a very important man now,
isn't he?" says she.
"Chee, yes!" says I. "He's I-double-it around here."
"Isn't that fine?" says Sis. "But I hope he can see us."
"Oh, I'll fix that all right," says I.
With that I slides through two doors and into Mr. Robert's room. He's
still out to lunch, of course, it bein' only about two o'clock; so I
unlocks the corridor door that he don't use and skips across into the
general offices.
"Say," says I to Mallory, "you're wanted in the boss's office. No, not
the old man's; Mr. Robert's. Skin into your coat and come along."
Never fazes him a bit. He just hunches his shoulders, knocks the dust
off his hands, and trots after. When I gets him in there I tells him to
wait a minute, and then I goes out through the right way and lugs in
Dicky and sister.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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