Well, I jollied the hard luck tale out of him. It was a case of sendin'
a boy with a pushcart to bring home a grand piano. The Old Man had done
it. He's kind of sore on the way Mr. Robert lugged Mallory in by the
hair, 'cause I heard him growlin' somethin' about makin' a kindergarten
out of the Corrugated; so he springs this on him. He calls for Mallory
and tells him there's a Russian gent down to the Waldorf that's come
over to place a big Gover'ment contract.
"We've got to have a slice of that," says he. "Just you run down and get
it for us." Like that, offhand, as if it was somethin' you could do
anytime between lunch and one-thirty.
Near as I could make out, Mallory goes for it in his polite, standoff,
after-you way, and the closest he gets to Russky is a minute with a
cocky secretary that says his Excellency is very sorry, but he'll be too
busy to see him this trip--maybe next time, about 1912, he'll have an
hour off.
"And then you backs up the alley?" says I.
"There was nothing else for me to do," says Mallory. "He went off
without giving me another chance."
"Say," says I, "if I had all your parlor manners, I'd organize an
English holdin' comp'ny for 'em, so's not to be jacked up for bein' a
monopoly. Why didn't you give him the low tackle and sit on his head
until he promised to behave? Was that the only try you made?"
"No, I sent up my card twice after that," says he, "and it came back. So
I've flunked. I think I'd better go down in the morning and resign."
Now wouldn't that rust you?
"Then here goes the books," says I, chuckin' 'em into the corner. "If
doin' the knowledge stunt leaves you with a backbone like a piece of
boiled spaghetti, I'm through."
That makes Mallory sit up as if I'd jabbed him with a pin. "Do I seem
that way to you?" says he.
"You don't think you're givin' any weight-liftin' exhibition, do you?"
says I.
He lets that trickle through for a minute or so, and then he comes back
to life. "Torchy," says he, "you're right. I'm acting like a quitter.
But I don't mean to let go just yet. Hanged if I don't try to see that
man to-night, now, as quick as I can get down there! He's got to see me,
by Jove!"
"There's more sense to that than anything else you've said in a week,"
says I. "Wish I could be there to hold your hat."
"Why not?" says he. "Come on. I may need fresh inspiration."
"Whatever I gives you'll be fresh, all right," says I; "but if I was
you, and was goin' to butt into any Fifth-ave. hotel along about
dinner-time, I'd wear the regalia. Yours ain't in on a ticket, is it?"
It wa'n't. Mallory had to go clear to the bottom of the trunk after it;
but when he'd shook out the wrinkles and got himself inside the view was
worth while. After he's blown up his op'ra hat and got out his stick you
couldn't tell him from a three times winner.
"Chee!" says I. "You've got Silent Smith tied to a post. If you acts
like you look, you don't need me."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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