Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- United States -- Fiction
I had to admit that I hadn't, not addin' I didn't expect to. And I must
have been stallin' along that line for a week or more until the forenoon
when Vee blows in unexpected durin' a shoppin' trip and announces that I
may take her out to luncheon.
"Fine!" says I. "Just as soon as I give two more letters to Miss Casey."
In the middle of the second one though, there's a call for me to go into
the private office, and when I comes back from a ten-minute interview
with Old Hickory I finds Vee and Miss Casey chattin' away like old
friends. Vee is being told all about Stubby and the hard-boiled eggs he
has for company officers.
"Three months without a furlough!" says Vee. "Isn't that a shame,
Torchy? What is the number of his regiment?"
Miss Casey reels it off, addin' the company and division.
"Really!" says Vee. "Why, that's the company Captain Woodhouse commands.
You remember him, Torchy?"
"Oh, yes! Woodie," says I. "I'd most forgotten him."
"I am going to call him up on the long distance right now," says Vee.
And in spite of all my lay-off signals she does it. Gets the captain,
too. Yes, Woodie knows the case and he regrets to report that Private
Mears's record isn't a good one; three times in the guardhouse and
another week of K. P. coming to him. Under these circumstances he don't
quite see how----
"Oh, come, captain!" puts in Vee coaxin'. "Don't be disagreeable. He's
engaged, you know. Such a nice girl. And then there is his poor old
mother who has seen him only once since he was drafted. Please, Woodie!"
I expect it was the "Woodie" that worked the trick. You see, this
Woodhouse party used to think he was in the runnin' with Vee himself,
way back when Auntie was doin' her best to discourage my little
campaign, and although he quit and picked another several years ago I
don't suppose he minds bein' called Woodie by Vee, even now. Anyway,
after consultin' one of his lieutenants he gives her the word that if
Private Mears don't pull any more cut-up stuff between now and a week
from Wednesday he'll probably have forty-eight hours comin' to him.
And for a minute there I thought both Vee and I were let in for a fond
clinch act with Miss Casey. As it is she takes it out in pattin' Vee's
hand and callin' her Dearie.
"A week Wednesday, eh?" says Miss Casey. "Say, ain't that grand! And
believe muh, I mean to work up some little party for Stubby. It's due
him, and the old lady."
"Of course it is," agrees Vee. "And Torchy, you must do all you can to
help."
"Very well, major," says I, salutin'.
And from then on I reports to Vee. It's only the next night that I gives
her the first bulletin from the front. "What do you know?" says I. "Miss
Casey has a hunch that she might organize a block party for the big
night. I don't know whether she can swing it or not, but that's her
scheme."
"But what on earth is a block party, Torchy?" Vee demands.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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