Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction
And off he goes into his own room. I don't know what he thought he was
goin' to do there. Just habit, I expect. For we've been gettin' along
without Old Hickory for quite some time now, while he's been away. First
off he tried to keep in touch with things by night letters, then he had
a weekly report sent him; but gradually he lost the run of the new
deals, and for the last month or so he'd quit firin' over any orders at
all.
Through the open door I could see him sittin' at his big, flat-topped
mahogany desk, starin' around sort of aimless. Then he pulls out a
drawer and shuffles over some old papers that had been there ever since
he left. Next he picks up a pen and starts to make some notes.
"Boy!" he sings out. "Ink!"
Course I could have pushed the buzzer and had Vincent do it; but seein'
how nobody had put him wise to the change, I didn't feel like
announcin' it myself. So I fills the inkwell, chases up a waste basket
for him, and turns on the electric fan.
"Now bring the mail!" says he snappy.
He was back to; so it was safe to smile. You see, I'd attended to all
the mornin' deliveries, sorted out what I knew had to be held over for
Mr. Robert, opened what was doubtful, and sent off a few answers
accordin' to orders. But, after all, he was the big boss. He had a right
to go through the motions if he wanted to. So I lugs in the mail, dumps
it in the tray, and leaves him with it.
Must have been half an hour later, and I was back at my own desk doping
out a schedule I'd promised to fix up for Mr. Robert, when I glances up
to find Old Hickory wanderin' around the room absent-minded. He's
starin' hard at a letter he holds in one paw. All of a sudden he
discovers me at the roll-top. For a second he scowls at me from under
the bushy eyebrows, and then comes the explosion.
"Boy!" he sings out. "What the hyphenated maledictions are you doing
there?"
Well, I broke it to him as gentle as I could.
"Promoted, eh?" he snorts. "To what?"
And I explains how I'm private secretary to the president of the Mutual
Funding Company.
"Never heard of such an organization," says he. "What is it, anyway?"
"Dummy concern mostly," says I, "faked up to stall off the I. C. C."
"Eh?" he gawps.
"Interstate Commerce Commission," says I. "We beat 'em to it, you know,
by dissolvin'--on paper. Had to have somebody to use the rubber stamp;
so they picked me off the gate."
"Humph!" he grunts. "So you're no longer an office boy, eh? But I had
you hopping around like one. How was that?"
"Guess I got a hop or two left in me," says I, "specially for you, Mr.
Ellins."
"Hah!" says he. "Also more or less blarney left on the tongue. Well,
young man, we'll see. As office boy you had your good points, I
remember; but as----" Then he breaks off and repeats, "We'll see, Son."
And he goes to studyin' the letter once more.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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