Humorous stories; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Private secretaries -- Fiction
First Mrs. Pulsifer slips out easy. Next Edna follows her, and after
them Marjorie and Vee, havin' exchanged some whispered remarks,
disappears too. Maybe it was my play to stick it out with Ferdie and the
old boy, but I couldn't see any percentage in that, with Vee gone; so I
wanders casual into the hall, butts around through the music room,
follows a bright light at the rear, and am almost run down by Marjorie
hurrying the other way sleuthy.
"Oh!" she squeals. "It's you, is it, Torchy? S-s-s-sh!"
"What you shushin' about?" says I.
"Oh, it's dreadful!" puffs Marjorie. "He--he's come!"
"That Gilkey guy?" says I.
"Ye-e-es," says she. "But--but how did you know?"
"I'm a seventh son, born with a cowlick," says I. "Was it Gilkey made
his entrance through the cucumber frame?"
It was. Also he'd managed to cut himself in the ankles and right wrist.
They had him in the kitchen, patchin' him up now, and they was all
scared stiff for fear Pa Pulsifer would discover it before they could
send him away.
"He'll be a nut if he don't," says I, "with all you women out here. Your
game is to chase back and keep Pulsifer interested."
"I suppose you're right," says Marjorie. "Let's tell them."
So I follows into the big kitchen, where I finds the disabled Romeo
propped up in a chair, with the whole push of 'em, includin' the fat
cook, a couple of maids, and the butler, all tryin' to bandage him in
diff'rent spots. He's a big, gawky-lookin' young gent, with a thick crop
of pale hair and a solemn, serious look on his face, like he was one of
the kind that took everything hard. As soon as Marjorie gives 'em my
hint about goin' back to Father there's a gen'ral protest.
"Oh, I can't do it!" says Edna.
"He would notice at once how nervous I am," groans Mrs. Pulsifer.
"But you don't want him walking out here, do you?" demands Marjorie.
That settled 'em. They bunched together panicky and started back for the
lib'ry.
"I'll stay and attend to the getaway," says I. "Nobody'll miss me."
"Thank you," says Gilkey; "but I'm not sure I wish to go away. I came to
see Edna, you know."
"So I hear," says I. "Unique idea of yours too, rollin' in the hotbeds
first."
"I--I was only trying to avoid meeting Mr. Pulsifer," says he;
"exploring a bit, you see. I could hear voices in the dining-room; but I
couldn't quite look in. There was a little shed out there, though, and
by climbing on that I could get a view. That was how I lost my balance."
"Before you go callin' again," says I, "you ought to practice roostin'
in the dark. Say, the old man must have thrown quite a scare into you
last time."
"I am not afraid of Mr. Pulsifer, not a bit," says he.
"Well, well!" says I. "Think of that!"
"Anyway," says he, "I just wasn't goin' to be driven off that way.
It--it isn't fair to either of us."
"Then it's a clear case with both of you, is it?" says I.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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