Traits of American Humour, Vol. 1 of 3 — John Shaqi
Traits of American Humour, Vol. 1 of 3
General
Traits of American Humour, Vol. 1 of 3
American wit and humor
“Well, stranger, the first fair chase I ever had with that big critter,
I saw him no less than three distinct times at a distance: the dogs run
him over eighteen miles and broke down, my horse gave out, and I was as
nearly used up as a man can be, made on _my_ principle, _which is
patent_. Before this adventure, such things were unknown to me as
possible; but, strange as it was, that bar got me used to it before I
was done with him; for he got so at last, that he would leave me on a
long chase _quite easy_. How he did it, I never could understand. That a
bar runs at all is puzzling; but how this one could tire down and bust
up a pack of hounds and a horse, that were used to overhauling
everything they started after in no time, was past my understanding.
Well, stranger, that bar finally got so sassy, that he used to help
himself to a hog off my premises whenever he wanted one; the buzzards
followed after what he left, and so, between _bar and buzzard_, I rather
think I was _out of pork_!
“Well, missing that bar so often took hold of my vitals, and I wasted
away. The thing had been carried too far, and it reduced me in flesh
faster than an ager. I would see that bar in everything I did: _he
hunted me_, and that, too, like a devil, which I began to think he was.
While in this fix, I made preparations to give him a last brush, and be
done with it. Having completed everything to my satisfaction, I started
at sunrise, and to my great joy, I discovered from the way the dogs run,
that they were near him; finding his trail was nothing, for that had
become as plain to the pack as a turnpike road. On we went, and coming
to an open country, what should I see but the bar very leisurely
ascending a hill, and the dogs close at his heels, either a match for
him this time in speed, or else he did not care to get out of their
way—I don’t know which. But wasn’t he a beauty, though? I loved him
like a brother.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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