XII. SETH WILLETT: THE ELK COUNTY WITNESS 145 XIII. THE TWO FAT SALS 154 XIV. WAR’S YURE HOSS? 157 XV. BOB LEE 161 XVI. THE SHOOTING-MATCH 184 XVII. THE HORSE SWAP 215 XVIII. THREE CHANCES FOR A WIFE 230 XIX. THE YANKEE AMONGST THE MERMAIDS 233 XX. CAPTAIN STICK AND TONEY 257 XXI. THE WAY BILLY HARRIS DROVE THE DRUM-FISH TO MARKET 262 XXII. YANKEE HOMESPUN 273 XXIII. THE INDEFATIGABLE BEAR-HUNTER 275 XXIV. COLONEL CROCKETT’S RIDE ON THE BACK OF A BUFFALO 293 XXV. COLONEL CROCKETT’S ADVENTURE WITH A GRIZZLY BEAR 296 XXVI. COLONEL CROCKETT, THE BEAR, AND THE SWALLOWS 301 XXVII. A PRETTY PREDICAMENT 305 T R A I T S OF A M E R I C A N H U M O U R. I. MY FIRST AND LAST SPEECH IN THE GENERAL COURT. If I live a thousand years, I shall never forget the day I was chosen representative. Isaac Longlegs ran himself out of a year’s growth to bring me the news; for I staid away from town-meeting out of dignity, as the way is, being a candidate. At first I could not believe it; though when I spied Isaac coming round Slouch’s corner, with his coat-tails flapping in the wind, and pulling straight ahead for our house, I felt certain that something was the matter, and my heart began to bump, bump so, under my jacket, that it was a wonder it didn’t knock a button off. However, I put on a bold face, and when Isaac came bolting into the house, I pretended not to be thinking about it. “Lieutenant Turniptop!” says Isaac, “huh, huh, you’ve got the election!” “Got what?” says I, pretending to be surprised, in a coolish sort of a way. “Got the election,” says he, “all hollow. You’ve got a majority of thirteen—a clear majority—clean, smack smooth, and no two words about it!”