Traits of American Humour, Vol. 2 of 3 — John Shaqi
Traits of American Humour, Vol. 2 of 3
General
Traits of American Humour, Vol. 2 of 3
American wit and humor
“That will do,” ejaculated Brush, clasping his hands before him, and
twirling his thumbs; and he then closed his eyes for the purpose of
reflecting upon his condition with a more perfect concentration of
thought than can be obtained when outward objects distract the mind. But
thinking in this way is always a hazardous experiment, whether it be
after dinner, or in the evening; and Peter Brush soon unwittingly fell
into a troubled, murmuring sleep, in which his words were mere
repetitions of what he had said before, the general scope of the
argument being to prove the received axiom of former times, that
republics do not distribute their favours in proportion to services
rendered, and that, in the speaker’s opinion, they are not, in this
respect, much better than the princes against whom his mother cautioned
him. Such, at least, was the conviction of Mr. Brush; at which he had
arrived, not by theory and distant observation, but by his own personal
experience.
It is a long lane which has no turning, and it is a long sleep in the
open air, especially in a city, which does not meet with interruption.
Brush found it so in this instance, as he had indeed more than once
before. Several gentlemen, followed by a dog, arrived at the foot of the
steps, and, after a short conversation, dispersed each to his several
home. One, however, remained—the owner of the dog—who, whistling for
his canine favourite, took out his night-key, and walked up the steps.
The dog, bounding before his master, suddenly stopped, and after
attentively regarding the recumbent Brush, uttered a sharp rapid bark.
The rapidity of mental operations is such that it frequently happens, if
sleep be disturbed by external sounds, that the noise is instantly
caught up by the ear, and incorporated with the subject of the dream—or
perhaps a dream is instantaneously formed upon the nucleus suggested by
the vibration of the tympanum. The bark of the dog had one of these
effects upon Mr. Brush.
“Bow! wow! waugh!” said the dog.
“There’s a fellow making a speech against our side,” muttered Peter;
“but it’s all talk—where’s your facts?—print your speech in pamphlet
form, and I’ll answer it. Hurray for us!—everybody else is
rascals—nothing but ruination when that fellow’s principles get the
upper hand—our side for ever—we’re the boys!”
“Be still, Ponto!” said the gentleman. “Now, Sir, be pleased to get up,
and carry yourself to some other place. I don’t know which side has the
honour of claiming you, but you are certainly on the wrong side at
present.”
“Don’t be official and trouble yourself about other people’s business,”
said Brush, trying to open his eyes; “don’t be official, for it isn’t
the genteel thing.”
“Not official! what do you mean by that? I shall be very official, and
trundle you down the steps if you are not a little more rapid in your
motions.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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