XII. DICK M’COY’S SKETCHES OF HIS NEIGHBOURS 125 XIII. KICKING A YANKEE 134 XIV. WHY MR. SELLUM DISPOSED OF THE HORSE 140 XV. METAPHYSICS 146 XVI. A TIGHT RACE CONSIDERIN’ 157 XVII. A SHARK STORY 175 XVIII. A BEAR STORY 192 XIX. THE BEST-NATURED MAN IN THE WORLD 203 XX. CHUNKEY’S FIGHT WITH THE PANTHERS 216 XXI. A BULLY BOAT, AND A BRAG CAPTAIN 230 XXII. FYDGET FYXINGTON 239 XXIII. DOING A SHERIFF 259 XXIV. THE MUSCADINE STORY 265 XXV. POLLY PEABLOSSOM’S WEDDING 280 XXVI. THE MOTHER AND HER CHILD 297 XXVII. PELEG PONDER; OR, THE POLITICIAN WITHOUT A SIDE 304 T R A I T S OF A M E R I C A N H U M O U R. I. THE EDITOR’S CREED. He takes up the crook, not that the sheep may be fed, but that he may never want a warm woollen suit and a joint of mutton. For which reason I would derive the name _editor_ not so much from _edo_, to publish, as from _edo_, to eat, that being the peculiar profession to which he esteems himself called. He blows up the flames of political discord for no other occasion than that he may thereby handily boil his own pot. I believe there are two thousand of these mutton-loving shepherds in the United States, and of these, how many have even the dimmest perception of their immense power, and the duties consequent thereon? Here and there, haply, one. Nine hundred and ninety-nine labour to impress upon the people the great principles of _Tweedledum_, and other nine hundred and ninety-nine preach with equal earnestness the doctrines according to _Tweedledee_.