Traits of American Humour, Vol. 3 of 3 — John Shaqi
Traits of American Humour, Vol. 3 of 3
General
Traits of American Humour, Vol. 3 of 3
American wit and humor
The atmosphere of this favoured place was supposed to impart knowledge
and wisdom to all who breathed it, and the veriest ass was a Solon, and
an umpire, if he could discourse fluently of the different localities,
and various wonders, of _Augusty_.
The farmers of the surrounding country paid a yearly visit to Augusta,
and having sold their “_crap_” of the great Southern staple, and laid in
their stock of winter necessaries, returned home with something of that
holy satisfaction with which the pious Mohammedan turns his face
homeward from Mecca. The first step upon arriving in the city was to lay
aside their “_copperas-coloured_,” fabrics of the wife’s or daughter’s
loom, and purchase a new suit of “_store_-clothes.”
These were immediately donned, and upon returning home were carefully
embalmed, nor again permitted to see the light until the next Sunday at
“meetin’,” when the farmer, with head erect and ample shirt-collar,
strutted up the aisle, the lion of the occasion, the “observed of all
observers” till the next Sabbath, when his neighbour returning with
_his_ new suit, plucked off his laurels and twined them green and
blooming upon the crown of his own shilling beaver.
These annual trips were _the event_ and _era_ of the year, and the
farmer returned to his home big with importance and news. The dishonesty
and shrewdness of “them Gimblit fellers,” (Cotton-Buyers,) the
extortions of hotel-keepers, the singular failures of warehouse
steelyards to make cotton-bales weigh as much in Augusta as at home, the
elegant apparel of the city belles and beaux, and the sights and scenes
which greeted their astonished gaze, formed the year’s staple of
conversation and discussion; and it would be difficult to say who
experienced the greater delight—the farmer in relating his wondrous
adventures, or his wife and daughters in listening to them with open
mouths, uplifted hands, and occasional breathless ejaculations of “Good
Lord, look down!” “Oh! go away!” or, “Shut up!” “You don’t ses so!”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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