Traits of American Humour, Vol. 3 of 3 — John Shaqi
Traits of American Humour, Vol. 3 of 3
General
Traits of American Humour, Vol. 3 of 3
American wit and humor
“He said, down on Long Wharf there was a queer little feller—a cousin
of his by the mother’s side—called Zedekiah Hales, who wasn’t more than
four foot high, and had a hump jest between his shoulders. A hull squad
of British officers got round Zedekiah, in State Street, and were
laughing and poking all sorts of fun at him: he bore it, cause as how he
couldn’t help it; one of them, a regular built dandy captain, lifting up
his glass, said to him:
“‘You horrid little deformed critter, what’s that lump you’ve got on
your shoulder?’
“Zedekiah turned round and looked at him for about a minute, and says
he:
“‘It’s _Bunker Hill_, you tarnal fool, you.’”
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[7] By G. H. Hill.
IV.
THE GANDER-PULLING.
In the year ——, I resided in the city of Augusta, and upon visiting
the Market-House one morning in that year, my attention was called to
the following notice stuck upon one of the pillars of the building:
“ADVURTYSEMENT.
“Thos woo wish To be inform hearof, is hearof notyfide that
edwd. Prator will Giv a Gander pullin’, jis this side of
harisburg, on Satterday of thes pressent munth, to All woo mout
wish to partak tharof.
“e. Prator—thos wishin’ to partak will cum yearly, as the
pullin’ will begin Soon.—E. P.”
If I am asked why “jis this side of harisburg” was selected for the
promised feat, instead of the city of Augusta? I answer from conjecture,
but with some confidence, because the ground chosen was near the central
point between four rival towns, the citizens of all which “mout wish to
partak tharof,” namely, Augusta, Springfield, Harrisburg, and
Campbelltown. Not that each was the rival of all the others, but that
the first and last were competitors, and each of the others backed the
pretensions of its nearest neighbour.
Harrisburg sided with Campbelltown, _not because she had any interest in
seeing the business of the two states centre upon the bank of the river,
nearly opposite to her_, but because, like the “Union democratic
republican party of Georgia,” she thought, after the adoption of the
Federal Constitution, that the several towns of the confederacy should
no longer be “separated” by the distinction of local party; that laying
down all former prejudices and jealousies as a sacrifice on the altar of
their country, they should become united in a single body, for the
maintenance of those principles which they deemed essential to the
public welfare.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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