“Mrs. Jones says I don’t know nothin’, and Mr. Jones says I don’t know nothin’, (_laughs_;) and everybody says I don’t know nothin’; and I say I _do_ know nothin’, (_laughs_.) Don’t I pick up all the chips to make the fires? And don’t I feed the hogs, and the ducks, and the hens? (_Laughs._) And don’t I go down to the store every morning, for a jug of rum? And don’t I take a good suck myself? I don’t know nothin’—ha—(_laughs_.) And don’t I go to church every Sunday? and don’t I go up stairs, and when the folks go to sleep, don’t I throw corn on ’em to wake ’em up? And don’t I see the fellers winking at the gals, and the gals winking at the fellers? And don’t I go home and tell the old folk; and when they come home, don’t the old folk kick up the darndest row? (_Laughs._) And don’t I drive the hogs out of the garden, to keep ’em from rooting up the taters? And don’t I git asleep there, sometimes, and don’t they root _me_ up. (_Laughs._) And didn’t I see a fly on Deacon Stoke’s red nose, t’other day; and didn’t I say, ‘Take care, Deacon Stokes, you’ll burn his feet?’ I don’t know nothin’, eh!” (_Laughs._) This Mrs. Jones I have spoken of, was a very good kind of woman, and Mr. Jones was considered a very good sort of man; but was rather fond of the bottle. On one occasion, I recollect particularly, he had been to a muster, and came home so much intoxicated, that he could hardly stand, and was obliged to lean against the chimney-piece, to prevent himself from falling, and Mrs. Jones says to him, “Now, Jones, aint you ashamed of yourself? Where on airth do you think you’d go to, if you was to die in that sitiwation?” _Jones, (very drunk)._ Well, I don’t know where I should go to; but I shouldn’t go far, without I could go faster than I do now. As soon as Mr. Jones had finished the paragraph in the paper, Mrs. Jones threw on her shawl, and went over to her neighbours to communicate the news. I will endeavour to give you an idea of Mrs. Jones, by assuming this shawl and cap. (_Puts on shawl and cap._) “Well, Mrs. Smith, I suppose you ain’t heard the news?” “La, no, what on airth is it?” “You recollect Seth Slope, that used to be about here?” “Yes, very well.” “You know he went a whalin’ voyage?” “Yes.”