institutions of his own country. Among tourists of the order of United
Englishmen an American young man is altogether out of his element. He
will attempt sometimes to live as they live, but will soon retire,
disgusted partly by them and partly by his own incompetence. I have
known an American who could be loud, and jolly, and frolicsome, and yet
carry himself like a gentleman through it all; but I have never known a
young American who could do so.
Englishmen of the class in question are boys for a more protracted
period of their life, and remain longer in a state of hobbledehoyhood,
than the youths probably of any other nation. They are nurtured on the
cold side of the wall, and come slowly to maturity; but the fruit,
which is only half ripe at the end of summer, is the fruit that we keep
for our winter use. I do not know that much has been lost in life by
him who, having been a boy at twenty, is still a young man at forty.
But even in England we are changing all this now-a-days, and by a
liberal use of the hot-water pipes of competition are in a way to force
our fruit into the market as early as any other people. Let us hope
that what we gain in time may not be lost in flavour.
But we have not yet advanced so far as to put down the bands of United
Englishmen who travel for fun. Who does not know the look of the band,
and cannot at a glance swear to their vocation? The smallest number
of such a party is three, and it does not often exceed five. They
are dressed very much alike. The hat, whatever be its exact shape, is
chosen with the purpose of setting all propriety instantly at defiance.
No other description can be given of it. To say that it is a slouch
hat, or a felt hat, or a Tom-and-Jerry hat, conveys no idea of the hat
in question. The most discreet Low Church parson may wear a slouch
hat, and may look in it as discreet and as Low Church as he does in
his economically preserved chimney-pot at home. But the United English
tourist batters his hat, and twists it, and sits on it, and rumples and
crumples it, till it is manifestly and undeniably indicative of its
owner. And having so completed its manufacture he obtrudes it upon the
world with a remarkable ingenuity. In a picture gallery he will put it
on the head of a bust of Apollo; in a church he will lay it down on
the railing of the altar, or he will carry it on high on the top of
his stick, so that all men may see it and know its owner by the sign.
Sitting in public places he will chuck it up and catch it, and at
German beer-gardens he will spread it carefully in the middle of the
little table intended for the glasses. He never keeps it on his head
when he should take it off,--because he is a gentleman; but he rarely
keeps it on his head when that is the proper place for it,--because he
is a United Englishman who travels for fun. He wears a suit of grey
clothes, the coat being a shooting coat, and the trousers, if he be
loud in his vocation, being exchanged for knickerbockers. And it is
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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