Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer — John Shaqi
Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser KillerLardner, Ring
General
Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer
Lardner, Ring
American wit and humor; World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor
[Illustration: He objected to being a soldier, so Capt. Nash asked him
if he would object to unloading a few cars of coal (p. 39).]
So I says to Shorty I said, "You certainly had the wrong dope on that
bird and maybe you got Sebastian wrong to." So he says "No I haven't and
I may as well tell you what he told me today. He told me he would of cut
you up in slices long ago only if he done it here in the camp he
wouldn't have no chance to make his get away and he is waiting till some
time he catchs you outside of the camp and then he will go to work on
you. And if I was you and a married man I would rather get it here then
in France because if you get it here your Mrs. can tend the funeral
provide it they find enough of the slices to make it worth while."
Well Al he has got a sweet chance to catch me outside of the camp
because when he is outside of the camp I will be inside of the camp and
I am glad I found out the truth about both he and Castle and now maybe I
can get some sleep.
So all and all I feel a whole lot better then I did only for my feet but
feet or no feet I will enjoy myself in Chi and I only wish I was going
tomorrow instead of wait till Sat.
Your pal, JACK.
CAMP GRANT, Oct. 7.
_FRIEND AL:_ Well Al its Sunday night and I haven't been to Chi or
nowheres else and I don't care if I ever go anywheres and the sooner
they send me to France to the front line trenches I will be tickled to
death.
Well old pal I decided yesterday A.M. to stay here and not go
and I made up my mind all of a sudden and it was partly because I wasn't
feeling good and my feet pretty near killed me and besides they are
going to pick some of us out for corporals and sargents pretty soon and
I figured a man would have a better chance of getting a officer job if
you didn't ask them for leave all the while. So as soon as I changed my
mind about going I found one of the boys that was going and asked him to
call Florrie up as soon as he got to Chi and tell her I couldn't get off
and for her to come out here today and see me and bring little Al.
Well Al yesterday and today has been the 2 longest days I ever spent and
it seems like a yr. since yesterday A.M. and it don't hardly
seem possible that I was feeling so good yesterday A.M. and now
I don't care if school keeps or not as they say. Yesterday A.M.
I was up before the buggle blowed all ready and so excited I couldn't
hardly eat breakfast and just before inspections Shorty Lahey seen me
smileing to myself and asked me what was the joke and I told him they
wasn't no joke only I was going home and he says he hoped I would have a
good trip and come back safe in sound so I said I guessed they wasn't no
danger of anything happening to me and he says "You will he O.K. if you
keep your eyes open." So I said "What do you mean keep my eyes open."
So he says "Your a game bird but they's no use of you takeing reckless
chances so you want to be on the look out every minute till you get
back."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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