Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer — John Shaqi
Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser KillerLardner, Ring
General
Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer
Lardner, Ring
American wit and humor; World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor
My command is made up of 7 men that I am the boss of them and they
contain Sebastian and Red Sampson and Shorty Lahey and a wop named
Janinny or something and a big stropper named Hess and 2 boys named
Gardner and Bowen and some of them is pretty rough birds but I won't
have no trouble handleing them because they know about my record in
baseball and they can't help from respecting a man that give up a big
salary to help Uncle Sam out and the only I that might try and give me
trouble is Lahey and I guess he has got better sense then trying some of
his funny jokes with a corporal because when a private monkeys with a
officer he is libel to wake up the next A.M. with no place to
wear his hat.
[Illustration: The way he throwed bombs he couldn't of took a baseball
and hit the infield from second base (p. 77).]
Well Al a corporal isn't the highest officer in the army but its a step
up and everybody has got to start at the bottom and Napoleon started as
a corporal and the soldiers was all nuts about him and called him the
little Corporal and maybe they will give me a nick name like that only
of course it won't be the little corporal because that would be like
calling Jess Willard Tiny Jess or something and the salary is $36.00 per
mo. instead of $30.00 and with that scheme I got fixed up with the govt.
that will give me twice $36.00 per mo. or $66.00 and I'll say thats a
whole lot better then a private at $1.00 per day.
I have all ready wrote and told Florrie about it and I bet she will go
crazy when she reads my letter and after this when they call her Mrs.
Keefe she can shrink up her shoulders and say "Mrs. Corp. Keefe please"
and you will have to salute when you see me Al. Of course I mean that
for a joke because what ever honors I get I wouldn't leave them make no
difference in our friendship and betwen you and I it will always be just
plain Jack Keefe.
Well Al we started today learning to throw bombs and of course that
won't be no trick for me and you might say it was waisting time for me
to practice at it because when my arm feels O.K. I can throw in your
vest pocket but today it was raining and I wouldn't cut loose and take
chances with my arm because I figure this war won't last long and I
guess I won't have no trouble signing up in the big league at my own
turns after what I done. But you ought to seen the officer that was
trying to learn us how and if they all throw like he its a wonder they
hit Europe to say nothing about the Germans. He kept his arm stiff like
he didn't have no elbow joint and he was straight over hand all the
while like Reulbach and you know what kind of control he had.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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