Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser KillerLardner, Ring
General
Treat 'em Rough: Letters from Jack the Kaiser Killer
Lardner, Ring
American wit and humor; World War, 1914-1918 -- Humor
So he says "Well Keefe don't tell me your aunt died." So I asked him
what he meant because I haven't no aunt only by marriage that lives down
in Texas. So he says "Do you know what we could do to you for being
A.W.O.L." So I said "I suppose you could bust me." So he says "Yes and
that isn't all. If you was drunk or some excuse like that we could have
you out in front of a fireing party or if we wanted to go easy with you
we could send you down to Ft. Leavenworth for 10 yrs." So I said "I
wasn't drunk sir and all the trouble was that I missed a train out of
Chi and I didn't miss it more than 2 minutes." So he says "Well 2
minutes and 2 wks. don't make no difference in this game. But you have
been behaving yourself O.K. and we got a fine record in this Co. and I
don't want to loose no non commission officers because I haven't got
none now thats worth a dam. So you see that you don't miss no more
trains because the next time it will go a whole lot different. You are
excused only that you won't get no more leave for a month."
So I said thank you sir and told him I was sorry because I was in a
hurry to get to France and didn't want nothing to come up to interfere
with me going and he says "You don't want to go no more then I do but it
looks like we would all be here till we die of old age." So I asked him
if the corporals wasn't going ahead of the rest of the bunch and he says
the corporals would go with the privates unless they was all shot by
that time for being A.W.O.L.
So here I am Al and I have told the boys I was not going to quit them
and I never seen nobody so tickled. Well Al I am glad to in a way and on
the other hand its a big dissapointment but a man has got to learn to
swallow their dissapointments in the army and take what comes.
Your pal, JACK.
CAMP GRANT, Nov. 4.
_FRIEND AL:_ Well Al they have begin to bust up our regt. and take men
away from it and the men they take will get to France before the rest of
us the lucky stiffs but they don't send them right to France from here
but they send them down south to the national guards camps and fill up
the national guards with them and the national guards are going to get
across the pond first because Secty. Daniels wants to save the good
regts. for the finish.
Well Al they can't send me to France to soon but it looks like they
wasn't a chance for a man like I to get sent with the national guards
because the men we are sending down south is the riff and raff you might
say who we want to get rid of them so when Secty. Daniels sends word
that the national guards at such and such a place wants 7 or 800 men the
officers here picks them out from amidst the kitchen policemen and the
guard house.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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