Treatises on Friendship and Old AgeCicero, Marcus Tullius
Philosophy
Treatises on Friendship and Old Age
Cicero, Marcus Tullius
Friendship; Old age
the part of the colleges was by this proposal to be transferred to the
people. It was this man, by the way, who began the practice of turning
towards the forum when addressing the people. In spite of this, however,
upon my speaking on the conservative side, religion gained an easy
victory over his plausible speech. This took place in my praetorship,
five years before I was elected consul, which shows that the cause
was successfully maintained more by the merits of the case than by the
prestige of the highest office.
26. Now, if on a stage, such as a public assembly essentially is,
where there is the amplest room for fiction and half-truths, truth
nevertheless prevails if it be but fairly laid open and brought into
the light of day, what ought to happen in the case of friendship, which
rests entirely on truthfulness? Friendship, in which, unless you both
see and show an open breast, to use a common expression, you can neither
trust nor be certain of anything--no, not even of mutual affection,
since you cannot be sure of its sincerity. However, this flattery,
injurious as it is, can hurt no one but the man who takes it in and
likes it. And it follows that the man to open his ears widest to
flatterers is he who first flatters himself and is fondest of himself. I
grant you that Virtue naturally loves herself; for she knows herself
and perceives how worthy of love she is. But I am not now speaking of
absolute virtue, but of the belief men have that they possess virtue.
The fact is that fewer people are endowed with virtue than wish to be
thought to be so. It is such people that take delight in flattery.
When they are addressed in language expressly adapted to flatter their
vanity, they look upon such empty persiflage as a testimony to the truth
of their own praises. It is not then properly friendship at all when the
one will not listen to the truth, and the other is prepared to lie. Nor
would the servility of parasites in comedy have seemed humorous to us
had there been no such things as braggart captains. "Is Thais really
much obliged to me?" It would have been quite enough to answer "Much,"
but he must needs say "Immensely." Your servile flatterer always
exaggerates what his victim wishes to be put strongly. Wherefore,
though it is with those who catch at and invite it that this flattering
falsehood is especially powerful, yet men even of soldier and steadier
character must be warned to be on the watch against being taken in by
cunningly disguised flattery. An open flatterer any one can detect,
unless he is an absolute fool the covert insinuation of the cunning
and the sly is what we have to be studiously on our guard against. His
detection is not by any means the easiest thing in the world, for
he often covers his servility under the guise of contradiction, and
flatters by pretending to dispute, and then at last giving in and
allowing himself to be beaten, that the person hoodwinked may think
himself to have been the clearer-sighted.
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