Tremendous TriflesChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
General
Tremendous Trifles
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
English essays
“Don’t be too sorry for me,” said Parkinson, with his simple sarcasm. “I
shall get over it in time. But it seems to me that the more a man likes
a game the better he would want to play it. Granted that the pleasure
in the thing itself comes first, does not the pleasure of success come
naturally and inevitably afterwards? Or, take your own simile of the
Knight and his Lady-love. I admit the gentleman does first and foremost
want to be in the lady’s presence. But I never yet heard of a gentleman
who wanted to look an utter ass when he was there.”
“Perhaps not; though he generally looks it,” I replied. “But the truth
is that there is a fallacy in the simile, although it was my own. The
happiness at which the lover is aiming is an infinite happiness, which
can be extended without limit. The more he is loved, normally speaking,
the jollier he will be. It is definitely true that the stronger the love
of both lovers, the stronger will be the happiness. But it is not true
that the stronger the play of both croquet players the stronger will
be the game. It is logically possible--(follow me closely here,
Parkinson!)--it is logically possible, to play croquet too well to enjoy
it at all. If you could put this blue ball through that distant hoop as
easily as you could pick it up with your hand, then you would not put it
through that hoop any more than you pick it up with your hand; it would
not be worth doing. If you could play unerringly you would not play at
all. The moment the game is perfect the game disappears.”
“I do not think, however,” said Parkinson, “that you are in any
immediate danger of effecting that sort of destruction. I do not think
your croquet will vanish through its own faultless excellence. You are
safe for the present.”
I again caressed him with the mallet, knocked a ball about, wired
myself, and resumed the thread of my discourse.
The long, warm evening had been gradually closing in, and by this
time it was almost twilight. By the time I had delivered four more
fundamental principles, and my companion had gone through five more
hoops, the dusk was verging upon dark.
“We shall have to give this up,” said Parkinson, as he missed a ball
almost for the first time, “I can’t see a thing.”
“Nor can I,” I answered, “and it is a comfort to reflect that I could
not hit anything if I saw it.”
With that I struck a ball smartly, and sent it away into the darkness
towards where the shadowy figure of Parkinson moved in the hot haze.
Parkinson immediately uttered a loud and dramatic cry. The situation,
indeed, called for it. I had hit the right ball.
Stunned with astonishment, I crossed the gloomy ground, and hit my ball
again. It went through a hoop. I could not see the hoop; but it was the
right hoop. I shuddered from head to foot.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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