American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories; Western stories
Moving past these, as in a nightmare dream, of which even the turbulency
of the weather seemed to be a part, he stumbled, blinded, panting,
and unexpectedly, with no consciousness of his rapid pace beyond his
breathlessness, upon the dazzling main thoroughfare of the city. In
spite of the weather, the slippery pavements were thronged by
hurrying crowds of well-dressed people, again all intent on their own
purposes,--purposes that seemed so trifling and unimportant beside his
own. The shops were brilliantly lighted, exposing their brightest wares
through plate-glass windows; a jeweler's glittered with precious stones;
a fashionable apothecary's next to it almost outrivaled it with its
gorgeous globes, the gold and green precision of its shelves, and
the marble and silver soda fountain like a shrine before it. All this
specious show of opulence came upon him with the shock of contrast, and
with it a bitter revulsion of feeling more hopeless than his feverish
anxiety,--the bitterness of disappointment.
For during his journey he had been buoyed up with the prospect of
finding work and sympathy in this youthful city,--a prospect founded
solely on his inexperienced hopes. For this he had exchanged the poverty
of the mining district,--a poverty that had nothing ignoble about it,
that was a part of the economy of nature, and shared with his fellow men
and the birds and beasts in their rude encampments. He had given up the
brotherhood of the miner, and that practical help and sympathy which
brought no degradation with it, for this rude shock of self-interested,
self-satisfied civilization. He, who would not have shrunk from asking
rest, food, or a night's lodging at the cabin of a brother miner or
woodsman, now recoiled suddenly from these well-dressed citizens. What
madness had sent him here, an intruder, or, even, as it seemed to him in
his dripping clothes, an impostor? And yet these were the people to whom
he had confidently expected to tell his story, and who would cheerfully
assist him with work! He could almost anticipate the hard laugh or
brutal hurried negative in their faces. In his foolish heart he thanked
God he had not tried it. Then the apathetic recoil which is apt to
follow any keen emotion overtook him. He was dazedly conscious of being
rudely shoved once or twice, and even heard the epithet “drunken lout”
from one who had run against him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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