Trials and Confessions of a Housekeeper — John Shaqi
Trials and Confessions of a HousekeeperArthur, T. S. (Timothy Shay)
General
Trials and Confessions of a Housekeeper
Arthur, T. S. (Timothy Shay)
Home economics -- Fiction; Housekeeping -- Fiction; Housewives -- Fiction
THERE are, among the many things which Mr. Smith, like other men,
will _not_ understand, frequent difficulties about the children's
clothing. He seems to think that frocks and trowsers grow
spontaneously; or that the dry goods, once bought and brought into
the house, will resolve into the shapes desired, and fit themselves
to the children's backs, like Cindarella's suit in the nursery tale.
Now, I never did claim to be a sprite; and I am not sure that the
experience of all housekeepers will bear me out in the opinion that
the longer a woman is married, the less she becomes like a fairy.
Stitch! stitch! stitch! Hood's Song of the Shirt, which every body
has heard and admired, is certainly most eloquent and pathetic upon
the sufferings and difficulties of sewing girls. "Much yet remains
unsung," particularly in regard to the ceaseless labors of women who
are as rich as Cornelia in muslin-rending, habit-cloth-destroying,
children's-plaid-rubbing--jewels! I am sure that the Roman matron
never went shopping. I am sure that she did not undertake to keep
her own children's clothing in repair; for if she had, she could not
have been ready, at a moment's warning, to put forward her
troublesome charge as specimen jewels. Do all I can, my little
comforts never _are_ "fit to be seen!"
Many is the weary evening that I have been occupied, past the noon
of night, in repairing the wear and tear of habiliments--abridging
the volume of the elder children's clothes into narrow dimensions
for the next, or compiling a suit for one, out of the fringed
raiment of two or three. Honest was the pride with which I have
surveyed these industrious efforts, and sincere the thought that I
had really accomplished something. Depositing the various articles
where the wearers elect would find them, I have retired to rest;
almost angry with Mr. Smith, who was asleep hours before me--asleep
as unconcernedly as if an indestructible substance fabric had been
invented for children's clothing.
Well, after such a night's work, imagine me waking, with a
complacent and happy sensation that, my work having been _done_ on
the day before, the morning is open for new employment. Down stairs
I come, full of the thoughts of the confusion I shall heap on Mr.
Smith's head. He, observe, told me, as he left me to retire, that I
had much better go to bed, for all my work would amount to nothing
but loss of necessary rest. I am ready to show him triumphant
evidence to the contrary, in the clothes, as good as new, in which
his children are habited. Before I can speak, I discern a lurking
smile in his face. My boy Will stands in a sheepish posture, with
his back as close to the jam, as if he were a polypus growing there,
and his life depended upon the adhesion.
My eldest girl--another of the laboriously fitted out of the night
before, has a marvellous affection for the little stool, and the
skirt of her frock seems drawn about her feet in a most unbecoming
manner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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