Up to that time I had not opened my heart to my father concerning my soul's
condition and needs, as he was not living a satisfactory life himself, but
when I went to the supper table, I was so happy that I said, "O Father,
help me praise the Lord." Not knowing how my soul had been longing for God
and a new life, he said, "Mary, what has broken loose?" I answered, "I
can't praise Him enough; I want you to help me praise him." I was too happy
to eat supper, and so went out into the yard and walked up and down
praising the Lord to my soul's content.
I might say here, it was not fear of everlasting punishment that caused me
to seek God, but a good faithful mother's love. I did not want to grieve
her heart and as I could not keep from doing so without help from above, I
sought salvation with this end in view. At this time there came very
forcibly to me the scripture about Mary's anointing the Lord before his
burial. I decided that she should be my example. I would give Mother some
of the flowers of my experience, and not wait until after she was dead and
buried. Had I waited to strew flowers over her grave, I would have expected
to hear people say, "She is nothing but a hypocrite. She did not treat her
mother right while she was living, and now she is trying to make a show."
Let us take a lesson from Mary of old--give flowers to the living; but if
we have no flowers, let us see to it that we do not give thorns. It was
thorns that the enemies of Christ placed upon his brow in mockery.
Later I found that there was something in me that did not want to treat
Mother just right--a disposition arising in my heart to disobey her. I felt
that this grieved the Lord; and I went and asked him to forgive me. One day
I said, "Mother, I am going to set down on paper a record of every day that
I keep from getting mad." As I had a very high temper, Mother thought it
very foolish for me to undertake such a record. Nevertheless, day after day
went by in which I did not become angry, until a month had elapsed; I had
not been angry for a month.
Just a month after I was saved, my oldest brother, who was a minister, came
with a message on the subject of sanctification. He explained the doctrine
to Mother and me and showed us our privilege of attaining to this grace.
Before noon of that day we made a complete consecration for time and for
eternity, grasped the promises, and both of us received the experience. I
am sure that my consecration was made in great ignorance; but the Lord
understood that I was sincere, and graciously granted me the experience.
When I received the sanctifying grace, I did not think of demonstration, or
of great feeling, or of anything of that kind: I simply consecrated all a
living sacrifice, and reckoned myself dead indeed unto sin and alive unto
God through our Lord Jesus Christ. I met the conditions and believed that
the work was done.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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